Good God - A Post !!!!

You would think my nimble little sausage fingers would be punching the crap out my keyboard in the frenzy of telling you everything that has happened since I last posted in November (Gawd! has it been that looooong!)

I have heaps to tell you, so much so I am having trouble relaying it in some sort of comprehensible structure which is pissing off my perfectionist self.

I will give it a go.

The injury I suffered at work has been a major factor of my life since I last posted. Still having moderate/severe pain in my hip,foot and pelvis,still can only sleep for 4 hours in bed before having to get up and sleep in the recliner and only if I take something to knock me out.Starting to worry about getting addicted to the pain meds.Went to a injury specialist just before Xmas and he said I had would be permanently disabled and suffer from this for the rest of my life and will need surgery down the track on my hip and sacral area - Oh goodie !

Life has been pretty boring as I cannot just up and go out to simple things like shopping as if I walk for longer than 10 mins my hip,lower back and nether regions go into spasm and causes great pain. The next day I feel like Ive run the London Marathon.Housework is near non existent and it is hard to get anyone to do anything without asking them, which then causes me more stress as their reaction is like I've asked them to donate me one of their kidneys.

Work has not been too supportive , I continued to be victimised or "micromanaged" by one of the Managers, as that's how he operates when he wants someone to leave, I've seen it with 3 other people who DON'T work there anymore.Suffice to say I'm someone when backed into a corner no matter how stressed or traumatised I am, will come out fighting like a banshee.Good news is he resigned last week - yay!so now we will see if it was just him or he was doing someone highers dirty work.

What pisses me off is I did this at work and after being a loyal and trusted employee for 12 years you would think I had some credibility and they would know my ethics. It only tells me they 1) Don't believe me (and the 6 Dr's I have seen) and 2) Once you become a liability your no use to them as it "Will only increase our insurance premiums"

The case is still with the lawyers and we will know in the next 1-2 months where we stand and if we have to take it to the Commission.

My daughter moved back home after Uni ended last year and her dreams of moving in with friends have been squashed as she expected Mummy & Daddy to pay which we did last year (after her scholarship ran out mid year).I told her we could not sustain paying for everything and that if she had a job and helped contribute we would be able to help out.Well that was like talking to a brick wall, not interested in getting a job which frustrates the hell out of me. I can't understand why you would not want to earn money and become more independent. I love my daughter very much - in fact she's been the one who helps me keep it together but giving her everything is not teaching her life skills.

I think I will call it for now as my bum and back is starting to ache - time to pop some pills!!

Back soon with Part 2 !

QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS

Well I kept to my promise of updating regularly didn't I - NOT !

I think the black dog has something to do with how my life is at the moment - no purpose and all over the place.I just can't seem to get things done they just drag on and on and I spend hours doing stuff but on the surface looks like I've done nothing. I hate it when I'm like that absolutely HATE IT !

Last time I posted I told you about my workplace injury. The pelvic fracture is getting better but the hip issue is not improving at all. To make matters worse the insurance company have declined my case which really devastated me. So now I have to get a lawyer and go through the motions of appealing which is going to be a right pain in the arse.

Oh and I sacked my Doctor, the one I had been going to for over 26 years - just fed up with his complacency and also the fact he misdiagnosed two major things this year, a bit sad really as he did his residency the same time and at the same hospital I did my nursing training.

Work is also a problem I think they are trying to give me the shove as within 30 minute of being told my case was declined I get hauled into the office and told I take too much leave and am away from work FAR two much, and I should cut down on my annual leave and long service leave.Hmmmm they have to authorise this leave before I take it so if it is a problem why do they sign off on the form and if I am entitled to the leave I should be able to take it when I freaking well want to.

Mind you they told me this 3 days before I was taking 3 weeks Long Service Leave as my mother was having a knee replacement and I was helping her and my 82 year old father out, so I question there motives.

Just found out my nephew has been in a bad motorcycle accident,has extensive facial injuries,fractured ribs sternum and a bleed on the brain.It's happened in another state so cannot go and see him straight away will see if we can get there next weekend maybe.

On the weight front - well don't ask lol! It's not good have put on weight and am disgusted in myself as my two year bandaversary is in a couple of weeks and back then I envisaged I would be under well and truly under the 100 kg mark.

As previously promised here is the shot taken of me before the wedding I spoke about in my previous post.I'm standing funny as I didn't ant a shot with the crutches.




Anyhow have to go, want to say some prayers for my nephew.

QUICK ONE

Am a little tired and sore after returning to work for 3 days, but on the whole everything went OK.

Today hubby and I are attending his best friends wedding (second marriage), it's in the city at The Rocks and we have booked a nice hotel across the road from the venue which is on the waterfront, so should be nice as I love the views over Sydney Harbour.

The bad part is I have to negotiate about 18 stairs and ring ahead so they can open the back door for me. If we did not do that I would have another 2 flights to contend with.

If I remember I will try and take some shots glammed up (might even show you my crutch - ha ha) and of the hotel and surrounds.

As we say here in Oz "avagoodweekend" folks.

LONG OVERDUE

This is a long overdue post - sorry.

Did not set out to be away for so long, but I just got sick and tired of only having depressing news to report and also felt my readers felt like that as well.

I set a few things in motion and intended to come back with some positive posts when my plans were completed but it as not worked out the way I would have liked.

Anyways I'm here now and will summarise what has been going on over the last 3 months or so:-

My daughter had problems with living away from home, became quite depressed due to homesickness and had to be refereed to a Dr.

My daughter also fractured her foot on the last day of Uni, did her final performance assessment with a broken foot and spent a very boring 6 weeks at home in a aircast boot poor kid.

Had continued pain from my fall at work in January. Been having weekly massages for the muscle spasm and popping pain pills by the hundreds I suspect.

Reorganised our finances.

My beloved Aunty and Godmother died after a 4 week illness.

Pain from fall worsened over the last 4 weeks. Had to go and buy crutches as I could not put any weight on my right leg. Dr treating me for adducter strain or tear.

Due to pain have also been self medicating with my choice of meds - FOOD !Weight
got up to 118 kg again from 107 kg (Holy snapping arseholes !!! EEEK)

Finally my Immunologist ordered a Bone Scan I have two fractures in the pelvis - FUCK - no wonder I have been in agony and thinking of getting a new GP as I feel he is to complacent regarding me. This is the second thing this year he has misdiagnosed am over it.

Told today the fractures can take 2 - 12 months to heal, treatment is no weight bearing and rest - great.

Because this is Workers Comp and 7 mths after the injury I have had some pretty disappointing attitudes from people I work with. You would think after 12 years of service they would know my character and integrity by now and not judge me as a malingerer.

Mother is unwell , she needs a knee replacement, I told her she should get it done and I will take time off work to help her out, now with my problems this makes this hard.

Have put a check on the food, weight now 112.7kg.

Anyways that enough for today, my bum is sore from sitting, will catch up on all your blogs and promise not to be away for so long next time.

LOST THE PLOT

My past experiences with the hospitalisation,dog being sick and SIL being killed has caught up with me.

The "black fog" has returned and I've lost the plot with life at the moment.

Have been medicating my self with food and have gained some of the weight I lost while sick.

Dog is still sick having cluster seizures and was hospitalised last week again, every time he goes in it's another $1.5K which is straining our already dismal finances and causing arguments with hubby.

I know if it continues will we have get my boy put down as his quality of life is suffering, the thought of it puts a knife through my heart as he is truly loved and a wonderful companion when everybody pisses off and leaves me at home alone.

There is a quote on the calender today by Elbert Hubbard

"Loneliness is to endure the presence of one who does not understand".

How true.

TIME FOR AN UPDATE - ME THINKS!

Where to start?

So much time has elapsed and so much crap has happened in between, you know the usual day to day crap, as they say "same shit different smell" - lol!

My SIL funeral was two weeks ago, nice service though very short only 15 mins and no wake after wards which I thought was a bit crappy as people had come interstate to pay their respects. I think wakes are good for the families to get together and reminisce the good times rather than focusing on the bad. Oh well that just my opinion.

Her hubby didn't make it out of hospital to attend the funeral, in fact he is still in battling a chest infection hampered by all his broken ribs - poor bugger, imagine how he feels as he was the driver as fault.

My daughter is home for the week on an Easter break, I want to go to Uni,I want to have a weeks break after only being there for a month - what a life. She is going well and enjoying it, not many written assessments as most are of a practical nature.

She has one coming up where is has to sing an Operatic Scale which is in Italian, she is a Alto Soprano, and very nervous about it as it's done in front of the whole class.

Went back to the Dr's yesterday with my abscess, it's healing slowing, about a week after I came home from hospital the thing burst, which I think was the best thing for it as it has progressed from then. So as of now I don't have to have the port removed which is good news for now. My weight was down on his scale by 4 kgs since my last visit in February so we were both happy with that,though I copped the usual lecture on doing some exercise- yadda yadda yadda! (Though I know he is right)

Anyhow better sign off it's 5am here as I woke at 3am and couldn't go back to sleep, so will try and lay down for an hour before the alarm goes off.

WAR WOUNDS & WEIGH IN

Finally learnt how to transfers photos to the laptop so here a a few of my war wounds and my daughters accommodation

My arm and hand after the massacre I got trying to put a cannula in, he had three goes then had to get a Dr from ICU .These bruises are a week old so I'm sure you can imagine what they looked and felt like the day after.The understatement of the year was "just a scratch" as they jab you, it's sort of like "Yes, I'll love you in the morning" when you have a one night stand.(Not that I have ever had one - lol!)



My belly where the abscess was over the top of the lapband port, this was taken today and is 300% better than it was. Imagine something the size of a large lemon and sticking out about one third from the abdominal wall, combined with a red fiery rash from the cellulitis covering all of abdomen.



Below are some photos of where my daughter is staying, though small a bright airy room.






Oh, almost forgot weighed in today at 107.7 kgs so a loss of 2.3kg since last time.