WEIGHTLOSS UPDATE

As this is supposed to be a weightloss blog, I thought I had better report in on how I'm going.

The fact of the matter is I haven't,I've been on a self sabotaging mission for the last 4 weeks or so.I've been using my stress as a piss poor excuse to eat whatever I like. Mind you the quantities are small it is more the quality of my choices that is appalling.So to give you an example my cholestrol has gone from a reasonable 5.3 to 7.4 since having the lapband.It's all my own fault though as I started to reintroduce butter into my diet again, saying to myself "Oh now I'm not eating as much I can spare a little butter here and there. Of course I didn't mean butter so thick it looks like a slice of flippen cheese!!

Oh and I should not forget the chocolate either!

So my weight has been yo-yoing for the past month. The reality of all this is coming home to roost though as I'm feeling pretty craptastic and most of all disappointed in myself.

My therapist asked me last week what did I fear most in losing weight. She knows the answer but I cannot bring it out into the open with my family and the people responisible after all these years - it would kill my parents.How do I deal with a tramatic event in my life without telling the world about it?????? How do I expalin to my husband and daughter why I'm like I am - it terrifies me.

So that where I'm at fighting the demons,it's a shame this lapband dosen't come with a Brain Band as well.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

As previously mentioned my one and only child turned 18 last week, here's tribute of photo's over the last 18 years.


8 weeks old and I thought you were most gorgeous baby ever


Aged 3 and on our way to see Disney on Ice (I just loved dressing you up)



Aged 8 taken at your first National titles of Irish Dancing (I was so proud of you)


Aged 10 With Nan & Pop on your first day at a new school


Age 16 before your school formal


18 (At last!)

BAD BLOGGER

I've been a bad blogger of late haven't I.

I have been so caught up with work at the moment I feeled totally whacked to find the time and inclination to do anything else at the moment.

My world seems to fall apart when I'm under stress, or more aptly I let it fall apart. Also my weight loss efforts have been in vain as I've been doing some pretty hard emotional eating of all things bloody chocolate. My daughter had to sell two bloody boxes of Freddo Frogs and Caramello Bears, guess who ate the most - we did and I'm not even a big chocolate lover.

Speaking of my daughter she turned 18 last week,gosh that time has gone fast, I will put together a post for her with some photos to commemorate the big event.

I had my CT Scan last week and it should nothing, which is good, but still leaves why I'm having these periodical bouts of pain. I think I'm going to keep a diary of my food etc and see if their is any pattern there.

Yesterday we had a scare with our dog Oscar (the Master of Disaster) he was asleep on the lounge when I heard some grunting, I found him having some sort of convulsion, his little body was rigid and jerky like he was having a fit. He was also frothing at the mouth and clearly not breathing.

I put him on the floor and started rubbing him to try and stimulate him to no avail,I screamed out for my daughter to get something to wipe his mouth as I was prepared to give him mouth to mouth!! While I was waiting for her I started pumping on his chest and he thank god started to breath. He initially could not stand and seemed to have trouble with his coordination which lasted about 5 minutes, then he seemed OK.

I think he may have had a hypoxic episode maybe caused by sleep apnoea.I decided to keep him inside for the night and we both slept on the lounge, which I'm glad I did as the poor little bugger had to go out twice during the night to have a spew, so something is amiss. I'll take him tho the vet's tomorrow.

I suppose you all think I'm crazy sleeping with him and being prepared to do CPR, but I really love my dog and I treat all my animals like another family member, besides he's the only one who loves me UNCONDITIONALLY.

We had a long weekend here to celebrate the Queens Birthday, it's also the time they hand out the Queens Honours to deserving Australians, - I was quite shocked to discover I did not receive anything - HA! You think I could have been awarded something like "Her great contribution to eating Freddo Frogs and Caramello Bears - WhAAAAAAA!!!!!