Monday 22 June 2009


As this is supposed to be a weightloss blog, I thought I had better report in on how I'm going.

The fact of the matter is I haven't,I've been on a self sabotaging mission for the last 4 weeks or so.I've been using my stress as a piss poor excuse to eat whatever I like. Mind you the quantities are small it is more the quality of my choices that is appalling.So to give you an example my cholestrol has gone from a reasonable 5.3 to 7.4 since having the lapband.It's all my own fault though as I started to reintroduce butter into my diet again, saying to myself "Oh now I'm not eating as much I can spare a little butter here and there. Of course I didn't mean butter so thick it looks like a slice of flippen cheese!!

Oh and I should not forget the chocolate either!

So my weight has been yo-yoing for the past month. The reality of all this is coming home to roost though as I'm feeling pretty craptastic and most of all disappointed in myself.

My therapist asked me last week what did I fear most in losing weight. She knows the answer but I cannot bring it out into the open with my family and the people responisible after all these years - it would kill my parents.How do I deal with a tramatic event in my life without telling the world about it?????? How do I expalin to my husband and daughter why I'm like I am - it terrifies me.

So that where I'm at fighting the demons,it's a shame this lapband dosen't come with a Brain Band as well.


CactusFreek said...

You didn't do this so badly before the operation. Maybe you should be seeing your therapist more regularly? :o/

Chris H said...

So... this traumatic event is ruining your life... and will continue to do so until you can bring it out in the open and put it IN THE PAST forever. THAT IS ALL. No one is going to look at you differently you know... cos they love you. If they don't love you and turn away, you are better off without them. You can do it K.

Mick said...

Hey Celtic,

Remember whatever happend in the past cannot be changed but what happens in the future can and you can control that.

Take care my friend.

Tania said...

Have to say I agree with Chris - until you put it to rest it's going to keep affecting your life! What i'd do personally? I'd vent it on paper - it's an outlet but a private one - it might be the start to coming through the other side.

This whole weight loss thing is about so much more than food and exercise - it's the mindset, until you get that right you're not going to succeed - we all believe in you - now it's time to believe in yourself and take one step at a time to get back to where you want to be.

Margaret said...

Hey, I sent an email to you with the recipe, and it bounced back to me today, is your email changed???


Margaret said...

God, My last comment sounded random.... but...

Hope you can manage to sort out the events in your life that are holding you back from your goals!!!

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