Tuesday 29 September 2009


Life has been much the same - trying to stay "normal".

Booked myself in for a fill today as I'm able to eat too much of what I'm not supposed to eat - like steak for one thing. Will have to wait until the 12th Oct though.

I want to have the same restriction I had when I first got the band , I want it tighter than a fish's arse!! And you know that's watertight!!! lol!

Darling daughter has only three days of school left before she leaves - sigh! Where has the time gone. Then she's off on a HSC Study Conference for a week run by the Anglican Church.These conferences are designed to provide students with around 30 hours of supervised study for the week without any distractions like the TV,computer or games etc. This is a relief for me as it takes the pressure off me nagging her to "do some study"

I think this is a great idea for students to do before their final exams and I hope she gets alot out of it as she can stress out a bit over exams.

When she gets back I'm having two weeks off work before her exams start to make sure things are running smoothly, so I am counting down the days for that.

Anyways off the bed now to read my book - a Jodi Piccoult novel which is my second one I've read of hers and a little - ho hum I must say. I'm really more into mystery's and thrillers. My mum has lent me the new Dan Brown novel so cannot wait to start that.

Sunday 20 September 2009


Wow! Where has the time gone, I can't believe it's been so long since my last post.

We are still having issues with the insurance company, they want to pay us out a paltry amount and on top of that we have to organise trades people to fix the problem. The problem is because the job is a repair no one is interested in doing
the work - and there's supposed to be a recession on! The only company that gave us a quote wants to charge $6.5K to replace 1 x.900 (3ft) cupboard and 4 doors - WTF!!!

The second problem is we cannot match the existing doors and the insurance company is saying they wont replace all the doors so they match as they only repair or replace a "reasonable" amount. My argument is a kitchen is one of the main rooms of the house, right and having 4 doors which don't match the rest of the kitchen is unreasonable as it will devalue the house if ever we want to sell it. It's not like a bedroom or even bathroom that is not the main living areas.

Does anyone have any suggestions, because it's at a stalemate at the moment.

Since my last post,my eating has been up and down. At the moment it's good, I lost 3.8kg in a week, only trouble is since my last weight (refer the side bar) I gained 3.2kg, so even though happy with this weeks effort, I'm disappointed in myself for putting on in the first place. Fuck when will I ever learn.

The thing that has helped me this week is my daughter. She is doing the shakes again, having one for breakfast, and having protein and salads/veges for lunch and dinner,so I have stopped buying all the crap like ice cream and chocolate biscuits. Having someone else in the same boat definitely helps, so I hope we can spur each other on.

My daughter leaves school in two weeks,13 years of school are soon over. I cannot believe it has gone so fast.Her final exams are in Oct/Nov so she is busy with study etc. She wants to go to University and do a performing arts degree, so I hope she gets into her first preference, but it depends on her exam marks which wont come in until mid December.

Just a small comment on the band, it's coming up to nearly a year now and while I admit to working against it during some of this time, it definatley has helped me with the eating binges I used to have pre-band and I have lost 18 kilos and kept it off (apart from the small ups and downs) so all in all I still think I made the right decision.

Now I'm going to admit to something I wasn't planning to, but this blog is after all "my therapy". My depression has returned - to be honest it has never left but at the moment it's re tuned with a vengeance. It takes all my efforts to get up and go to work, I'm exhausted with acting out that nothing is wrong and I'm on top of things.I'm in the black bottomless pit and no one know I'm there. I think I know why I'm like I'm am but just can't see a way out at the moment - I need help!