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Friday 29 February 2008

TRYING TO HANG ON

It took me about 5 minutes to log onto my blog as I could not for the life of me remember my password. Funny thing is I have used this password for many years, just shows how bad I am at the moment.

Well my plan of staying on track and journaling my food fell flat on it's face after two days. I have been gorging myself on anything "making" up for lost time and any future time I think.

Physically I feel like crap, my joints ache, I'm getting bad headaches and my stomach and bowels lead a lot to be desired at the moment - if you know what I mean. I have been on a self-destruct mission for the past week and a half and god knows how much I have gained as my clothes are definitely showing I have.

In an effort to get me back on track I have organised to get my food delivered as of next week. This company will send me 1500 cal of food for the week, all weighed and sorted by meals for the week. I have had it before and the food is fresh and good. It is though on the expensive side at $140.00 per week, but I feel well worth it as I will not have to think about menu planning etc which reduces the stress for me a bit, knowing I just have to pick out say lunch for Wednesday. Anything that reduces my stress is a plus, you see I'm one of those people who can tolerate a lot of stress, it just takes one small thing to tip the scales and I fall into a screaming heap. Bad thing is though I have had several small things happen since Xmas.

So, I'm doing my best to hold on until Tuesday, when I get my delivery for a Wednesday start.

I have to get this right, I have to get back on track - my life depends on it.

6 comments:

Chris H said...

I am with you all the way babe, all the very best, you do what you have to do to shift the weight mate.

Nona said...

I'm so sorry to hear you are not in a good place. I think it is really really hard to stay on track without support.

I really hope the delivered meals help you to meet your nutritional needs and to stay away from self-destructive behaviour with food.

The GS Anon. program has been working out well for me. My sponsor lives in France and I call in my food to her every morning. It takes about 3 minutes but it helps me to stay on track during the day.

In addition, I attended these meetings over the phone every week where people talk about the way they stay on track food wise. They are all a little nuts but I'm doing it because the alternative is to keep fighting with the food or eat until I explore. Right now I have had 30 days of flawless eating and I feel really comfortable in my body and calm. If the other doesn't work for you, perhaps you can try GS Anon.

Good Luck. {{{Hugs}}}

angelfish24 said...

Good luck on that meal plan. Sounds like a good idea. Hope your stress eases somehow. Sounds like you have a lot from work. I know how you feel. Take care of yourself, I need to take that advice too.

Anne said...

I can relate to the stress issues, jsut not a good place to be. I do believe reading that you do have the strength to get through it.

Take care and hang in there.

CactusFreek said...

You are right, your very life depends on it.
Have you read your past posts on how determined you were at the time? Maybe if you do, some fire will be re-kindled in you?

Keep your chin up :o)

Lyn said...

Wow wish we had one of those companys to deliver food like that in our area! Would make so much easier! And I don't think that $140 is too bad considering it's all sorted out!