THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!

Had my appointment yesterday with my surgeon and the nutritionist. Being the pessimist I am, I was quite anxious they would tell me I could not have the operation for some stupid reason or I hadn't lost enough pre-surgery weight.

By my surgeons scales I had lost 4 kilos since I saw him last which he was pleased about saying 1/2 a kilo a week is a healthy loss blah blah blah.

I recorded a 2.5kilo loss with the nutritionist and 3 cm off my waist, he also was happy with that.He even told me as long as I was eating sensibly I didn't have to have the Opti-chuck two weeks before surgery but if I could manage it it would be better AND only do two meals and have a "normal meal" as night. WOWSER!
I must admit I have been stressing out with the thought of having to go on Opit-chuck for 3 meal a day and for two weeks. I've read so many other blogs and it's been struggle for alot of fellow bandsters, but if it came to the crunch I would do it, but now knowing I don't have to do it has taken some of that stress away.

My plan of action will be to stick to the meal replacements as much as possible and when I start getting a bit toey, I will alternate to having real food, but sticking to the low carbohydrate regime of protein and free veges with no starchy carbs. I think I need the rigidity of the shakes as I'm someone who goes way off track if I'm choosing for myself all the time, so I think this will be a good balance.

My surgeon also told me if I was going to have a "Last Supper" before my surgery to have it two weeks before. He told me of one case where a young girl went on a eating and drinking binge two weeks before her surgery and her liver was so huge they couldn't do the operation. I'd be devastated if I woke up and was told 'Sorry, we couldn't do you! Anyway I certainly don't plan to go on a bender, I just want a nice big steak and a caramel tart as my last hurrah.

So, it's just a waiting game now - 24 days and counting!!!

A LOSS

At last! A loss to report on 2kg (4.4lbs).

It's been a hard bloody slog I can tell you and I have not been consistent with it, but I'm fast approaching the pointy end of the game now and I need to buckle down and get as much weight of before D Day.

I have an appointment with my surgeon on Monday so I would like to show a loss when I go there. Also I have to see the nutrition doctor as well so I expect he will be disappointed I haven't lost much in the 7 weeks since I saw him last(Has it been that long!!!)

Anyway gotta go it's Wednesday (payday) my busiest (and stressful) day of the week.

A GLORIOUS DAY

We went into the city (Sydney) today as my daughter had a audition with the Sydney Theatre Company. It was her first time auditioning for a professional company and as expected she was a little nervous. She had to perform from a cold script, which basically means they are given a piece to work on (with a partner) selected by the director, given a short time to rehearse it and then do it for the director. All in all the process took about 2 hours.

They need 15 actors and there were a heap of young people there so we wont know until later if she has made it, but really if she doesn't make it this time,there always going to be a next time and it's been a good learning curve for her. I was really proud of her as this was way outside of her comfort zone and she is only 17 and still at school, so theres plenty of time.

Before the audition we had a lunch at the Waterfront Restaurant at The Rocks, the scenery of the harbour and the Opera House was divine, we sat outside on a beautiful sunny day. It is a seafood restaurant and my husband & I had the seafood platter for two which although very nice with lobsters,crabs etc was a little short on quantity for the $140.00 price, but hey we don't do that sort of thing often and the views themselves made up for price.

Iv'e been reading a lot of blogs lately on people who have had the Lapband and I'm feeling it's not going to be the walk in the park like I thought. I mean I know really it's not going to be easy, but I just think I'll have to be off work at least two weeks(my doctor told me initially a week) as I am someone who gets pretty whacked from anaesthetics and my surgeon told me due to my autoimmune condition I would spent a couple of more days in rather than overnight.

Also I'm worried about being intubated as my last operation two years ago was nearly cancelled because the anesthetist couldn't get the tube down my throat( funny I thought I was Linda Lovelace - ha ha)and I woke up with an extremely lacerated throat which gave me more pain than the incision site. Personally I think the anaesthetist was a bit green around the edges as I have never had this problem before.

Anyway better sign off and get ready for work tomorrow.

HOLY CRAP

Where has the time gone, my surgery time clock is showing 38 days, when I started it was over 70 days.

So far I have been sticking to the shakes,so hope I can post a loss this week.Everytime I feel like I'm going to go off track, I do some serious talking to myself,suffice to say anyone that sees me probably thinks I'm some crazy bird.

It's a bloody battle I can tell you, so fingers crossed I lose AND stay on track.

The weekend has come and left in a hurry,the dog bit me on Saturday (the little shit) not bad, only a warning snap, but it still drew blood. His problem is he thinks he's the boss!!!!

Anyway not much more to report, still stressed, still broke, thank goodness today is payday.

CALMER - JUST!

I've calmed down - a bit - since my last post. That's how it is will me, I let things build up and KAPOW! I explode and have a rant.

The problems are still there though, I don't think they will ever go unless I get a divorce and/or move out.

I had to take my son to the vet on Tuesday (Yes he is a dog), poor bugger ripped one of his nails out in the screen door and it was bleeding like a stuffed pig. $110.00 later we come home with some antibiotics and pain killers for my poor wee man.



Normally my boy would lavish kisses on me when asked, but at the vets he wouldn't "talk" to me and kept turning around so I was presented with his one eye (Bum)as he didn't like me holding him down for the vet to inspect the wound - there funny buggers aren't they.

It's only 6 weeks to my surgery day, I think this also hasn't helped the stress levels as I so much want this to work. Also, I want to get my Xmas cleaning done before I go into hospital just in case I cannot do it after. So much to do, so little time.

I go back to the surgeon in just over two weeks and am scared shitless he will tell me he won't do it because I havn't lost any weight. I restarted the Optifast again today and already I'm thinking about what I can have for dinner when I have just finished lunch - FARK!

Got to keep telling myself it's for the greater good!!!!!

CAN'T BE ARSED

It's that sort of morning for me, I feel like I've been run over by a semi trailer.

I'm at work, got a headache, aching all over and feel like crap.Maybe it's the stress I've had over the last few days with my brother, but all weekend I just could not motivate myself to do anything.

On my brother, he is now conscious and in a normal ward, they still have not found out what happened. He is still not feeling right, his vision is doubled and a bit woozy on his feet. They will be giving him a more in depth CT Scan today, so I hope he at least comes away with a diagnosis.

I feel like chucking everything in at the moment, my pre surgery weight loss is just not happening, I have money worries and family worries. I'm getting a bit sick of being the one who organises everything and everybody and then not getting any appreciation or consideration. I think if I had the resources I would just walk out, that's how I feel at the moment.

For once in my life I want someone else to make the decisions and worry about everything.

UPDATE

We still don't know what is wrong with my brother,but we do know he hasn't had a stroke or has a brain tumor, so that is some relief in itself.

Yesterday they did a Lumbar Puncture so they can test his spinal fluid for meningitis or encephalitis and also did a EEG to test his brain activity, these results will take over 24 hrs, so it's a waiting game.

They are going to try and rouse him out his induced coma today, so we will be spending another day waiting around.

I feel optimistic though he will recover fully, I don't have the same sense of forboding I had when my younger brother had his accident and died two years ago.

By the way, it's my late brothers birthday today, he would have been 39, so I feel today will be a good day and it will be his gift to us, making Steve well again.

Thanks for all your thoughts, I'll keep you all posted.

SAY A PRAYER

Please say a prayer for my brother.

He was brought down from the country to Sydney by Ambulance, unconscious and in a critical condition yesterday. At this stage we don't know what the cause is, we hope to find out today, but it has something to do with his brain.

It broke my heart yesterday to see him in the the Intensive Care Unit, for such a big man he looked so small and vulnerable.

Will let you all know.