Tuesday 7 October 2008


It's that sort of morning for me, I feel like I've been run over by a semi trailer.

I'm at work, got a headache, aching all over and feel like crap.Maybe it's the stress I've had over the last few days with my brother, but all weekend I just could not motivate myself to do anything.

On my brother, he is now conscious and in a normal ward, they still have not found out what happened. He is still not feeling right, his vision is doubled and a bit woozy on his feet. They will be giving him a more in depth CT Scan today, so I hope he at least comes away with a diagnosis.

I feel like chucking everything in at the moment, my pre surgery weight loss is just not happening, I have money worries and family worries. I'm getting a bit sick of being the one who organises everything and everybody and then not getting any appreciation or consideration. I think if I had the resources I would just walk out, that's how I feel at the moment.

For once in my life I want someone else to make the decisions and worry about everything.


Chris H said...

Sad you are feeling so down mate... give your hubby a kick up the arse from me! And I even like him! So happy for you that your brother seems to be on the mend, what a bloody relief!

Carlton said...

I'm so glad to hear about your brother and I hope he continues to improve.

I can so relate to you regarding being the one to organise everything. I to have that problem and can relate to how it gets you down.

Don't give in, take one day at a time and do your best. Your under a lot of pressure at the moment so be kind to yourself.

Nona said...

Oh dear!!! I've just read you back posts and am so sorry to hear about your brother. I am glad he is coming back to you and I do hope they pinpoint what happened because that is bloody scary.

Such a lot of stress you are under. (((Hugs))) Yes, sometimes we NEED to be taken care of and I would say you are the perfect candidate for that need right now because you are facing a huge, life changing surgery and absolutely must focus on preping for that, because without good health you have nothing.

I think when you are a doer, people come to take it for granted that you will do and forget that you are not a machine. Perhaps, it is time to remind your loved ones that you are just human and they need to take over for awhile while you focus on you.

(((Hugs))) You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Nola said...

You can't help anyone else unless you are up to par. Tell them this!! You need to come first. Tell them you can't be strong for them unless you feel strong in yourself so they will have to pull their weight and take over a few things you would normally do. You have to make time for yourself and time to regroup and get your strength back...both mental and physical. You have been through so much ... you need to try and back away and have a rest!! Look after yourself...please!! :)

Mick said...

Good news that your brother is improving.
Sorry you are feeling down, sounds like you've too much going on and getting stressed (that certainly wont help the weight loss). Just take some time out to relax and think of yourself, remember No1 is important.

Spider63 said...

Your stress is going to undermine your plans. That is kind of normal for an overweight person. i think most of us are not good at dealing with stress. just step back. If you cannot get the surgery now maybe in a few months it will be better for you.