Sunday 9 March 2008


Things have improved for me (slightly) on the diet front. Firstly by having the meals my anxiety levels have reduced dramatically and overall I am eating better.

I am having though some serious sugar cravings after dinner, last night I succumbed and stuffed 4 chocolate biscuits down my craw, then two pieces of cinnamon toast,then when that didn't satisfy me some more sweet biscuits. I of course felt pretty shattered after the event and vowed I would do better.

I feel I'm being a stupid cow for letting this food issue get the better of me, but honestly all I seem to be doing is thinking of food and what I can have next and when. Last week at work we had cake for someones birthday, I was good, I walked back to my desk without my usual two pieces(yes, two freakin pieces).For the rest of the afternoon that damn cake was on my mind and I could not think of anything else.

The next day I knew there was heaps left in the fridge and once more my thoughts kept going back to it saying to myself "oh come on one slice wont hurt, you can start again tomorrow etc etc". Again I was able to withstand the temptation.

Why is it I can control myself with the really ,really good stuff (cakes) and then blow it on OK stuff like biscuits and bread. I mean if I'm going to break the diet you would think I'd pick something WORTH breaking it for.

Today I've tried to keep busy and keep my mind occupied, I found a an unfinished knitted jacket I was doing for my daughter, so I have started it again, had to unravel it all as I forgot what size I was doing.

Tonight if I get the cravings again I just have to drink a glass of water as I'm not blowing it again tonight.


Nona said...

Once I saw this guy on the tube eating a chocolate bar that I'd never tried. Mind you I'd seen the brand he was eating in stores plenty times but never tried it preferring to have my tried and true favourites.

Well, after I saw him chomping down this particular chocolate I became OBSESSED with trying it. I tried to resist but it haunted me for days until I finally bought the darn thing.

Needless to say it wasn't that good ... to dark and chunky for my taste.

My mind is constantly searching for 'THE THING' that will satisfy the inner yearning once and for all and evidently it thought that chocolate bar was going to do the trick... it always thinks some sweet thing is going to do the trick.

I haven't had any sugar for 43 days now. I had awful craving during the first few weeks especially after meals, so I took to chewing sugarless gum. I'm relying on it rather heavily still. I don't like the habit or look of chewing gum, but it's the lesser of the possible evils right now, so I'm going to hold on to it as long as I need to.

Hang in there my friend.


Nona said...

Damn!!!! Didn't mean to write an essay!!! :(

Chris H said...

I'm like you... see it, want it... think about it all day long! Good on you for resisting that cake.

Tania said...

These issues with food suck don't they? I can go months without even wanting cake but as soon as it's around (like a birthday at work) I can't get it off my mind! It's the whole forbidden thing - if you see it as forbidden you'll crave it more but allow yourself a little and there'll be lots less stress involved.

Having said that i'm usually ok just refusing the cake most of the time - it's funny how being pregnant has "allowed" me to have it any time - and there always seems to be a birthday in my office.

CactusFreek said...

Good on you for resisting the cake. I know it's a lot harder than it sounds!
Get that crap outta your house and get some of those Nestle 98% fat free cappachinno [i know thats not spelt right] things and keep them for times when you need a sweet fix.
I'm going to send you something via e-mail :o)