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Monday 17 March 2008

MINI EPHINANY

I had a mini ephinany on the weekend.

It's amazing what a small off hand comment from a family member can do as a kick up the backside.

We had a family get together for my Dad's 80th birthday and one of my brothers made a off hand comment about me fitting through a doorway(as there were about 20 people in the room). I must admit I was embarrassed (even though not many heard it.)

I handled it by drowning my sorrows in some wine and just a bit too much Tiramisu cake.

I came to the realisation how much time I had wasted over the past year, I also realised the "medicinal" comfort I was putting in food was just so self destructing. I always knew it wasn't the right thing to do but it just seemed to slap me in the face more this time.

I'm someone who used to be motivated by negative reinforcement. When I was younger, if you told me I could not do something, I would do it just to prove them wrong.When I was 13 I desperately wanted my ears pierced. My mother refused saying I was to young, so I threatened do them myself, which she laughed at.

Well I just got two blocks of ice one day a needle and damn well pierced my own ears, much to her horror. I still wear my earrings in those same holes I did way back then. Dont't get me wrong though it was not the case of a willfull child not getting her way. I just always felt held back because of illness as a child. Telling me I couldn't do something was like waving a red flag at a bull.

What I have achieved so far has proved I can do this,watching shows like The Biggest Loser and other weight loss shows also proves by being consist ant and putting in the effort will yield results.

I think Nona (55kg's) posted recently, "It's one thing to talk the talk, but you have to walk the walk".

Well, I'm tired of the talking(excuses), I want to do the walking.

I want to walk with my head held high for a change.

9 comments:

Nona said...

Anyone, who can pierce their own ears is my automatic HERO.

I know just how you must have felt when that comment was made ... that awful combination of hurt and embarrassment that we use some food to help us swallow.

I too want to walk with my head held high. I too am tired of feeling self-conscious about my body.

Others have been where we are and have conquered their food/weight demons and if they can so can we.

You did really well last week. Today starts another week and you can have a successful one. Me too.

{{{Hugs}}}

angelfish24 said...

I know what you are saying. Walk the walk. My problem is I do it for a while and make great strides and then fall off the wagon. Yeah, excuces, stress, everything. You can do anything you put your mind to, I really believe that! Go go and get what you want!!!

Chris H said...

I wish it hadn't taken such a cruel comment to get you motivated babe! My Dad used to say awful hurtful things like that to me all the time too.... it didn't help unfortunately.

CactusFreek said...

And you CAN do it. Everything you need to succeed is inside you!

Now where does your brother live so i can go around and give him the bitch slapping he deserves! lol

Wanna_B_slimmer said...

Ouch...that one stung didnt it....
use it to your advantage like you did when your were a kid....
you can od it.. you know you can.... ;o)

White Rose Boy said...

I think we have all probably been the victim of hurtfull comments, if you can use it as motivation it can turn into such a positive.
Good Luck

Meow Meow said...

Brother is an ass.

Here take my shoe and ram it up his bum for me.

Tania said...

And once you reach that stage where you want it enough mentally it starts to fall into place physically! It's about so much more than what exercise you do and what food you eat - it's about the attitude and the mental focus you have - I think your big successes are going to be just around the corner - can't wait to be here congratulating you on them all the way.

Spider63 said...

It is easy to get motivated when people will take a shot at you, even if they may not intend to hurt your feelings.

One of the things that motivated me a lot when I was very very obese was that people would occasionally tell me that I should get a job as Santa Claus during Christmas, or to be careful not to break the chair, sofa, etc., or that the car was scraping the ground on whatever side of it I was sitting, etc.

those thoughtless remarks were like wood in the fire. Kids would say "Mommy look at the fat man." All that motivated me.

However, now that I am closer to just being FAT, I do not get those remarks very often, and believe it or not, anger can be a good motivator.

I wish more people would tell me that I am still a fat tub of lard. That motivates me. I guess it does not work for everyone, but getting angry gets me to do something about it.