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Saturday 25 November 2006

The Saga Continues

Before I start to waffle on - I updated my tracker today to show the 1 kg loss I had - WOOOHOOO!!! Isn't it a good feeling when we achieve something ( had almost forgotten and given up on having those feelings again)

OK , I was just reading back the second trilogy to my life saga and I realised I wasn't doing what my mantra ans my blog name is KISS - Keep it Simple Stupid. My attention to detail and perfectionist attitude has been part of the reason I haven't stuck to any diets or lifestyle changes before, Everything was black & white to me, there was no middle ground and if I failed I was my own worst critic. Well, no,no,no I'm now cutting myself some slack,being kinder to myself and since July 06 it is working. I sometimes go 2 steps back f.or 1 step forward but there is a light at the end of the tunnel (even though it is only a pinprick!)

I remember my life stages by what weight I was at the time. When I left school I started nursing and lived in at the Hospital, I gained about 20 extra kilos. Looking back it was the stress of leaving home, doing shift work and my beloved Nana passing on. Consequently I have fat 21st photos which I hate to look at. Around this time I discovered Duromine (a prescription appetite suppressant) and wow, did those suckers work - I lost the 20 odd kilos in about 3 months without trying and I did not feel hungry at all. The downside though was I couldn't sleep and had to stop taking them after I developed tachycardia(abnormally fast heart beat). Met my soon to be husband around this time, who'll I'll call Dearly Beloved or DB, we courted for 4 years before we married in 1987. My wedding weight was 85 kilos a size 16 and boy was I depressed about that. God what I would give today to be a size 16 instead of a 22/24. I fell pregnant 3years later and went on the biggest eating binge in history and by the time I was wheeled into the delivery room for a caesar I weighed 110 kilos, OMG did I feel like a Beluga whale or what. Thankfully within 6 months after the birth when I returned to work I had lost all the weight plus some to come in at 80kilos. Several years before I had given up Nursing and started to work for a steel company (yeah I know what a contrast). I had a phenomenal rise up the ladder with this company, becoming the first woman sales rep, centre manager and state branch manager - I really loved this job and the people there. One day in Sept 98 I was called in for a "meeting" to find I was being made redundant - what a slap in the face that was after 13 years of loyal service. It totally sent me in a spiral. I found out much later it was simply because I was a women and they were weeding the woman out of the business (There weren't many of us). So began my downward spiral which I might add I didn't know I was having until 7 years later. During this time I gained 51kgs, lost all self esteem (didn't have much to start with) and could not find a job similar to the level I was on. My first name can also be a man's name so I always got an interview,even had CEO's ring me, but as soon as they found out I was a woman that was the end of it. So when I did finally get a job it was at a lower level and much lower salary. Now don't get me wrong I'm not a bra burner or hard arse career gal, but I believe in equality for all and if people are capable and qualified to do a job, your sex, race ,size etc etc should play no part in it. So, the last 7 years have been a horror time for me, with weight,health financial issues. You hear people talk about rock bottom, well I always make an attempt to talk myself up, but I think I was pretty close to it, so much so there seemed no hope........ to be continued

5 comments:

Chubbymum said...

Woohooo that is a fantastic loss hun.. You should be proud.

Wow it is interesting to read about your life.

Not fair that they were weeding out the woman.. sometimes we woman can come up with some unique out of the square ideas and can make more money for the business... small minded people they were hun..

Love CM

CactusFreek said...

Congrats on the kilo loss! :o)

That sucks about your job history! I have to say that i've never been ambitious enough to be a threat to anyone!
But i'll add this:I have been a stay at home mum for 14 years, since my first child was born. Last year my youngest child was due to start school, so i worked at getting a qualification that i would enjoy going back to. And i do need to get back into work as we can no longer live comfortably without a second income!
So, Last year i completed my childcare certificate. But i learnt that my size goes against me where getting a job is concerned. Employers would take one look at me and wonder if i can keep up with a room full of little kids. And even if i could, would i drop dead of a heart attack because i'm as big as i am?
So now, even though i'm fully qualified, i have to stand in line after school leavers and uni students.
So untill i lose weight and get back in the running, i need to figure something out.
Darn politics!

celtic_girl said...

Thanks all. Yes Cactusfreek. I too have experienced the discrimination with the weight issue and job hunting. You can tell straight away, they get this look about them and you know they are just going through the motions in the interview. I gave it up, stressfull and frustrating.So I put up with a job I loath as we also need two incomes. I regret not being home more for my daughter when she younger.:(

Wanna_B_slim said...

I worked in a male envorinment for many years... and yes the pay sux and the siutaion sucked... but some of the guys were tops....
our section was like one big family....
I am still gr8 friends with some of them...
Well done on the awesome loss...
Dont lose hope... not everyone is critical about our weight problems...

CactusFreek said...

Hi :o)
The big fruit bowl is in a tiny place called Bilpin, just out of Richmond :o)