The Saga Continues

Before I start to waffle on - I updated my tracker today to show the 1 kg loss I had - WOOOHOOO!!! Isn't it a good feeling when we achieve something ( had almost forgotten and given up on having those feelings again)

OK , I was just reading back the second trilogy to my life saga and I realised I wasn't doing what my mantra ans my blog name is KISS - Keep it Simple Stupid. My attention to detail and perfectionist attitude has been part of the reason I haven't stuck to any diets or lifestyle changes before, Everything was black & white to me, there was no middle ground and if I failed I was my own worst critic. Well, no,no,no I'm now cutting myself some slack,being kinder to myself and since July 06 it is working. I sometimes go 2 steps back f.or 1 step forward but there is a light at the end of the tunnel (even though it is only a pinprick!)

I remember my life stages by what weight I was at the time. When I left school I started nursing and lived in at the Hospital, I gained about 20 extra kilos. Looking back it was the stress of leaving home, doing shift work and my beloved Nana passing on. Consequently I have fat 21st photos which I hate to look at. Around this time I discovered Duromine (a prescription appetite suppressant) and wow, did those suckers work - I lost the 20 odd kilos in about 3 months without trying and I did not feel hungry at all. The downside though was I couldn't sleep and had to stop taking them after I developed tachycardia(abnormally fast heart beat). Met my soon to be husband around this time, who'll I'll call Dearly Beloved or DB, we courted for 4 years before we married in 1987. My wedding weight was 85 kilos a size 16 and boy was I depressed about that. God what I would give today to be a size 16 instead of a 22/24. I fell pregnant 3years later and went on the biggest eating binge in history and by the time I was wheeled into the delivery room for a caesar I weighed 110 kilos, OMG did I feel like a Beluga whale or what. Thankfully within 6 months after the birth when I returned to work I had lost all the weight plus some to come in at 80kilos. Several years before I had given up Nursing and started to work for a steel company (yeah I know what a contrast). I had a phenomenal rise up the ladder with this company, becoming the first woman sales rep, centre manager and state branch manager - I really loved this job and the people there. One day in Sept 98 I was called in for a "meeting" to find I was being made redundant - what a slap in the face that was after 13 years of loyal service. It totally sent me in a spiral. I found out much later it was simply because I was a women and they were weeding the woman out of the business (There weren't many of us). So began my downward spiral which I might add I didn't know I was having until 7 years later. During this time I gained 51kgs, lost all self esteem (didn't have much to start with) and could not find a job similar to the level I was on. My first name can also be a man's name so I always got an interview,even had CEO's ring me, but as soon as they found out I was a woman that was the end of it. So when I did finally get a job it was at a lower level and much lower salary. Now don't get me wrong I'm not a bra burner or hard arse career gal, but I believe in equality for all and if people are capable and qualified to do a job, your sex, race ,size etc etc should play no part in it. So, the last 7 years have been a horror time for me, with weight,health financial issues. You hear people talk about rock bottom, well I always make an attempt to talk myself up, but I think I was pretty close to it, so much so there seemed no hope........ to be continued