WORKING ON THE HEAD

The constipation has improved as long as I remember to take the Benefibre.

I didn't weigh in last Friday just really could not be bothered. My motivation at the moment is pretty pathetic, I know why, it's only taken me 40 something years to work it out.

I'm dealing with a fair amount of stress at the moment at home and at work and have been turning to the old favourite and enemy number one - food . I had a pretty scary moment last week at work where I medicated myself with something and 30 minutes later had my head down the bowl felling nauseous as hell and dry retching.

Suffice to say it did not do my band any good as I had bad pains in the stomach all afternoon and have had to really go back onto mushie foods again.

While rummaging around for one of my psychology books on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy I found my old Dr Phil's Weight loss book. This book is based on CBT so have started reading it again and will do the exercises as well which was one of the reasons I never finished the damn thing cause I couldn't be arsed at the time to do the work.

The other reason I gave up on it was because I read the book in Dr Phil's southern drawl and it was driving me crazy!!! lol Funny thing now I'm not doing it - go figure.

Exercise has been pretty much non existent due to my usual aches and pains and next week I have to help hubby in our part time cleaning business as his offsider is away so am really not looking forward to that - NOT

I mentioned a few weeks ago I was given a promotion at work, well we hired someone to take over my payroll duties for two days a week. I still have to oversee the wages but it will be good once the new person is up and trained. I hope that cuts out some of my stress as Wednesday's are the pits.

So my mission for the week is to concentrate on the head,getting my thoughts pattern right and working on changing the undesirable eating behaviours - that should be easy right?

THURSDAY FUNNY

GOLD - I SAY GOLD!

Things are a bit better in the ablutions department, not great but at least the "seal has been broken" - ha ha !

I bought some Benefibre after I found out the Movacol (not Movalon as I mentioned in my last post - wishful thinking) was a tad expensive at nearly $40.00.

I have been sticking fairly close to home as I have taken so much laxative material I expected it to come with a G force high enough the crack the sound barrier!!!!!

So will have to wait and see what eventuates as there is over a weeks worth - damn beavers!!!

A SHITTY FRAME OF MIND

I'm constipated.

Sorry if this is a bit too much information but it causing me a lot of grief.

I've tried everything, prunes,psyillium(spelling?)husks,suppositories to name a few.

Weigh in has been cancelled his week as I know I will show a gain as I'm bloated as hell and feel fat,fat FAT.

I'm also carrying huge amounts of fluid from all the extra water I'm drinking to try and shift the blockage. Maybe I've had a beaver take up residence in my bowels and the little bugger has built his dam across my colon!!! lol!

I've never been this bad before. The next thing I will try is a product called Movalon - so I hope it does what is says and MOVE IT ALONG!!!!!

Failing this the next step is getting some country to switch their nuclear testing to my colon!!!!!

WEIGH IN

Weighed in today 117kg (257.4lbs) for a loss of 400 grams.

Although small its still a loss and takes me to 2 losses in a row.

Exercise can still be better. I forced myself and booked a reassessment at the gym which I did last night. The stats were better than when I had my last one in July 08 which I expected anyway, but its good for the mind to see downward numbers on the form.

I did a 20 rep circuit on the machines then 25 minutes on the treadmill and must admit felt good after, so I will put that positive feeling into my memory bank and recall it when I have any reservations about going again.

I still need to work on the food plan,will try and sit down tonight and do it so I can go armed to the shops on Saturday.

MOVIES & MUTTS

Went to the movies today and saw - Watchman.

I was looking forward to it as that super spunk Jeffrey Dean Morgan was in it. For those who watch Grays Anatomy he briefly played Denny the patient who was dying and marries Katherine Heigel's character on his death bed - sigh!

The movie is based on the DC Comics of the 1980,s about a group of superheros called The Watchmen. I must admit I didn't really know much about it as my daughter had to fill me in. I'd give the movie 7/10, it was entertaining though a little long at 160 minutes.



This angelic face is currently out of my good books at the moment. He had a bit of a scrap with his mother and mummy came off second best.

I was trying to retrieve a bone from the little bugger and he's very possessive about his bones.As I was holding him by the collar so my daughter could retrieve it, the little bugger tried to get away and sunk his teeth into my hand. I made it worse by pulling my hand out of his mouth which did all the damage, so had to make a trip to the Emergency Dept last night and have it looked at as there was quite a bit of meat hanging out and bleeding badly.

I know he should not do this, but I think he felt cornered by me and my daughter, I should not have pushed the issue, but used a diversion tactic to get it. He knew straightaway he was in TROUBLE and hid under the table and has been trying to suck up to mum ever since - the little shit!

He's not a vicious dog by any means, I mean I can take any food away from him and there's not problem, it's just his bones he gets territorial about, oh well a lesson well learnt I can tell you and no more bones for you buddy!

WEIGH IN

Weighed in today 117.4kg(258.2lbs)with a loss of 2.4kg(5.28lbs).

Just shows what you can do when you do the right thing.

Things I did well with this week were:-

1.Eating within my 1200 calories

2.Staying away from the evil Caramel Tarts for 6 out of 7 days,even when I would have given my left arm for one.

3.Making a consistant effort to maintain a positive attitude and using the "fake it till you make it" strategdy

4.Having more wins with my mind over what I shoved into my mouth.

5. Being kinder to myself

Things I need to improve on

1. Exercise - did not get to the gym as planned. Work has been hectic and having to stay late, by the time I get home and cook I just am too tired to go. Yes an excuse, need to just make myself go.

2. Meal planning could do with some work, particulary dinner,this would also help with getting to the gym as well.

So, that my wrap up for the week, all in all I'm pleased with how I handled situations over the week having some wins and acheiving some small goals I set for myself, so overall a good week.

WEEKEND OVER

Spent the weekend hard at work around the house.

We have a council clean up this week so was madly pruning shrubs (my mother calls it raping them as I'm not much of a gardener!!! lol),cleaning up garden beds etc.

Plenty of raking,bending and sweat provoking work,boy you sure know what muscles you don't normally use the next day.Also, fighting with the bloody dog,who wants to drag everything off the pile I so neatly put, then cock his leg and pee on every pile I had raked up. Lucky for him I love him so much!!!

Food wise this weekend has been good, the scales are coming down so am hoping for a good loss this week.