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Friday 1 June 2007

THE BLACK DOG RETURNS

Iv'e written this post about 5 times,not counting the zillion times Iv'e tried to contruct it in my head. I have had a pretty stressful week of it,trying to juggle work and family committments. I suppose to the average healthy person it is just everyday living, for me at the moment it is like trying to climb Mt Everest with a pair of thongs(flip flops)on.

I think the black dog has returned, my depression has always been excaserbated by stress and this last week has been pretty stressfull.

At the moment I'm running on auto pilot, I have no jest for anything at the moment and everything is an effort, I feel like I "want to get off the bus" and find a nice dark cosy place to get through this.Depression is the pits, it's anger without the enthusiasm, it's a black bottomless pit, it is a disease that seems to lack hope.

As usual I'm trying to analyse why I'm feeling this way which of course brings up all the negative thoughts, so I'm probably better off not doing it.

On the way to work this morning I was travelling behind a truck on the Motorway and there was a slogan on the back which read "Disipline is the bridge to reaching goals and acheivements" it struck a chord with me as I lack it big time, in alot of areas in my life.

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12 comments:

Christine said...

Hey - you aren't alone in this dark hole - come on out.

Chris H said...

I am sad you are not feeling the best, do you take medication for the depression? Personal question I know, but I have been there, and almost killed myself before I got help... amazing how a wee pill once a day can help so much! Only a suggestion mate. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Wanna_B_slim said...

Take care ... you do know you are not alone... all it takes is an email...

White Rose Boy said...

I know its not easy but try to look for positives in everything and stay away from them negatives.
I hope next week is much better for you, take care.

Half Man said...

I know how you feel. Do something you enjoy with friends/family, don't isolate yourself, and get out in the sun if you can.

angelfish24 said...

Hope you can get some relief from your depression. I've never been on meds but getting out and exercising seems to help me a lot. Yoga yesterday really helped my come out of my sad state of mind. It's no fun to live that way. I do get depressed in the winter and now the sun is here I feel pretty good. Weird, but that SAD thing I guess?

Livy said...

Yuck, nothing worse than the old black dog come to visit. I have to say, I really enjoyed seeing pics of you on Chris's blog and finally putting a face to a name.

Chubbymum said...

I have that when my TOM is due!! It is a bout a week long (this week he he).

I am always here to listen hun and maybe you should talk more so we can help out... not good to keep it in.

Love ya
Chubbymum

Spidey said...

There was some Japanese therapy (self-help) book that I bought that claimed that the best way to beat depression was to smile until you were happy. In some of the AA groups they will say "Say it until you do it." or Pretend it until you become what you wanted.

Think happy thoughts, it beats the alternatives. I have found that deep introspection leads to dark empty caves that have no exits.

Christine said...

Just checking in with you and looking for an updated blog. Hope things are getting better with you! The sun is shining outside! :) Take care of yourself.

Abba said...

We are not best friends, but I am here. I am here to listen and to give you positive constructive feedback. I am a blogging sister who is going through the same things. I am a woman who wants to start living again as well. I am depressed also. There are some days when I want to give up, and I do. I tell myself that this life sucks. I go to bed worrying all of the time.

However, I wake up every morning so thankful to be alive. It does take discipline. But don't forget to add in a little fun, love, and happiness for good measure.

CactusFreek said...

[[HUGS]] for you :o/
I have that same black dog lurking around in my life every so often, so i totally know where you're coming from!
My hubby doesn't understand depression. So he thinks i'm just being a drama queen when i just don't want to get up some mornings. I'm an odd one because when i'm happy i'm really happy, and when i get down i get really down. It's like there's not much in between.
But on the down end, it takes a LOT to get me down! So for that i'm grateful.
Does any of that sound like you?
Don't stay down too long, i miss ya! :o)