WEIGH IN

As expected Iv'e had a gain - .400 grams.

Considering what Iv'e eaten it is a bloody fantastic result. I am though disappointed in myself for not finishing the 10 week challenge on a high.

To summarise I lost 2.8kg (6.1 lbs) on the challenge which is not a complete disater as the scales are going in the right direction. I do realise however I could have done better so I'll put it doen as a lesson learnt and strive to do better.

I'ts my parents 50th Wedding Anniversary (and my 20th)in the middle of July, so my goal is to give 100% with the eating and my old nemisis the exercise to see what I can acheive my then - 115kg (253 lbs) would be good but am not focusing on the numbers moreso the effort from ME!

ANYONE FOR A KRANKSY?

I just medicated myself with a sausage, now not an ordinary sausage a freakin kransky sausage, probably the worst kind of all.I succumbed to the greasy bag of offal these things are made of and I enjoyed it, so my shame is doubled.What's worse is I really don't like sausages and I am STILL hungry.So hungry I decided to do some blogging in the hope it takes my mind off wanting something to eat.I have been good all day but am really getting the after dinner munchies, something I had last night as well.I did have a stressful day of it yesterday and today was no better.

First of all it's Wednesday, Wednesday's I do the wages and if it goes well it's OK, but if one thing goes wrong everything follows like a domino effect. I had a domino effect today.In the middle of all this I get called in for a salary review.Hello! whatever happened to some communication so I could prepare "my case" as to why I think I deserve a 10% increase - HA!

After a hard day at the office, I had to rush home as it was Parent /Teacher night at my daughter's school(we wont even go there folks) to find my dog Oscar, limping badly on his back leg.OMG,did I inadvertently kill a leprechaun or maybe I squashed on a fairy in my haste today.

So here I am, still feeling ravenous,might go and make myself a nice cup of tea and contemplate what the scales are going to say tomorrow.

HO HUM

Had a busy weekend. It was one of those weekends where nothing went to plan and I ended up doing things I didn't particularly want to do.Consequently I didn't feel like I had any time off.

My parents have a 50Th Wedding Anniversary coming up so I've been busy organising letters from the Local Member and the Prime Minister.Because it's so close to the first anniversary of my brothers death, my mother doesn't want a party as such, I suppose I can understand, so my brother and I will take them out to dinner.Hubby and I have our 20Th anniversary also on the same day.OMG I can hardly believe it's been so long. where does our lives go. Can anyone give me some suggestions I can do for my parents 50Th??

Life has been pretty much so so at the moment, the most exciting thing I've done is change my avatar back to my laughing dog or woodchuck as Spidey calls it (What's a woodchuck???) I didn't think the Bimbo sitting on the throne was really me, the only throne I get to sit on is the dunny (Aussie slang for can or john)lol.

After my demolition last week losing 1.4 kg I fear my weekend of "not giving a shit" will results in a gain this week.What a tosser!

Half Man has tagged me for a Meme, here's my list

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.

1. Tam’s Fitness Journal
2. Lose Weight With Me
3. Chicken Girl
4. Half Man
5. Celtic Girl

Next select five people to tag: (if you haven’t done it already)

Chubbymum
Spidey
Mick
Angelfish
Lyn (Slimsville)

And now for the questions:
What were you doing ten years ago?
Working at my dream job,having a ball.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Grieving.My brother had just been crushed to death at work.

Five Snacks You Enjoy
1. Yoghurt
2. Popcorn(Air popped of course)
3. Anything with peanut butter on it
4. Fruit
5. Caramel Tarts (Very occasionally)

Five Songs to Which You Know all the Lyrics
1. American Pie
2. Candle in the Wind
3. Bohemian Rhapsody
4. Advance Australia Fair
5. Morning has Broken(Learnt at school, we used to sing My Hymen has Broken - sorry)

Five Things You Would Do If You Were a Millionaire
1. Pay off debts and give up working(current job)
2. Go back to University
3. Give some to my parents and brothers
4. Fix up my Aunts house to be more wheelchair friendly
5. Create an investment portfolio for my daughter


Five Bad Habits
1. Procrastinating
2. Negative Self Talk
3. Being my own worst critic
4. Catastrophising
5. Acting impulsively

Five things you like doing
1. Reading
2. Laughing
3. Shopping
4. Researching History
5. Horse racing

Five things you’ll never wear again
1. My Kilt
2. Harem Pants
3. Stilettos
4. Bikini
5. 80's Hair

Five favorite “toys”
1. PC
2. Digital Camera
3. Stick Blender
4. My dog
5. Eye Toy

WEIGH IN

A quick update before I start with the weekly wages.

I had a loss - wooohooooo! 1.4 kg ( 3.08 lbs).

I'll talk about what I did when I get time to add later

HEARTENING

Today was my last day off work - boy the week has sure gone fast. I know as soon as I go back it will seem like I never had any time off.

While I was at the gym today I had my assessment done and was quite pleased with the results.Apart from the weight loss I have lost heaps of Cm's off my body,my waist measurement has gone down by 15Cm's on it's own and I've dropped 5% of body fat.

Seeing these results I realised what I have achieved so far and it brought it all in perspective and worth while. More importantly it has made me want to keep going and shift more lard.

HOLY CHAP STICK BATMAN

The long weekend and my week off work has really thrown my sense of days out of balance. I realised last night it was Wednesday and I had forgotten to weigh in. In hindsight it was probably a blessing as I had a gain when I checked this morning. I've gained 1kg (2.2lbs) which frankly I'm not surprised as my weekend was a bit eratic food wise.Also because I'm exercising every day I'm drinking more water, so I expected some of that is fluid retention which I get once I recommence drinking water after a lapse.On the positive at least it's under the 120 kg mark.

I didn't go to the gym yesterday as my back and thighs were really,really sore from the previous days activities. Instead I opted to take the dog for a 30 min walk,I tell you that's a workout in itself. My dog is say 10kg but he is the strongest little bugger out, always pulling on the lead (I need to get him some training), it must look so funny this little 10kg pug pulling a 119kg heifer along the street.Today I'm off to the shops, IT'S SALE TIME HERE! do a little dance, do a little dance!! So I'll get plenty of walking done I can tell you. Hope you all have a great day

ANGEL v THE DEVIL

It was such a relief this morning not to have to get up and get ready for work.I only have 4 days off but I'm determined to get some long overdue things done.Today hubby was off work as well and I convinced him to make a start on cutting down a nearly dead wattle tree we have in our front garden. While he did that I got on the mattock and fork and started weeding the garden. It was hard yakka I can tell you and I only managed to do half as all the bending over was taking a toll on my back.

After lunch I was umming and arghing whether to go the the gym or not, as I had planned to use this time at home to really get stuck into the exercise again.I had the Celtic devil on one shoulder telling me I shouldn't go that I had done enough exercise for the day and the Celtic angel on the other urging me to go. The angel won out thankfully, I just got dressed and went, did my stuff and came home.So simple really I don't know why I have to make it such a big deal.


My food today has been good I stayed within my calories and am very interested to see what I can pull off by sticking it to relgiously and exercising every day. Time will tell.

A DAY AT THE RACES

As mentioned in my last post hubby, mum and myself went to the races with my Aunt and Uncle to see our boy run.He ran a gallant 5th on a heavy track, showing a nice turn of foot in the straight (as he was last and six deep on the turn)

The photo below was taken of him in the mounting yard before the race.



Mum and me in the grandstand before the race



As you can see from the photos the track was dead,I've never seen it so empty which was a shame as the crowds create the atmosphere,anyway we all had a good day.

Ate way too much this holiday long weekend and am committing to myself to get back on track tomorrow, no excuses it will be done!!

RAINBOWS

Starting to feel a little better about things in general lately.I have been setting myself little tasks and goals this week which helps with the "swamped" feelings I have been having. Being able to see what I have achieved stops me from feeling overloaded and getting stressed about the enormity of things. My eating has been OK, nothing flash, I seem to go great during the day but crave something sweet after dinner and have been dipping into the choccy biscuits, I need to find something that satisfies my sweet cravings without totalling blowing my good work. Tonight my mum has asked us over for dinner, she's cooking a pork roast - Y-U-M, my favourite and there will probably be an apple pie for dessert, oh well I have a choice don't I.

I've got two new words I'm using at the moment:-

DISCIPLINE AND NURTURING

I'm making a consistent effort to reminds myself about them several times a day. I need discipline in my life on many ,many levels and I also need to remember to nurture myself because if I don't do it no one else will that's for sure.

Tomorrow were heading off to the horse races at Royal Randwick - our boy is running and were having a family day out with the Uncles and Aunt, should be a great day if the weather holds out for us. I'll try and take some photos of us swanning around with "beautiful people"

Oh and I changed my avatar,something I created in Photobucket just to kill some time,it's my alter ego, what do you think?

TAGGED

Ive been tagged by cactus to list my favourite TV Shows. It was a bit hard for me as I really don't watch much TV, but here goes.



Benny Hill re-runs on cable, Sunday mornings 8AM - yes I actually get out of bed early to watch this. A comic genius and the best comedian EVER in my opinion, I still have a great laugh watching him.



Deadwood - Why do I like this? I am still asking myself this question as I am not a fan of Westerns, the swearing is atrocious (they use the C word which I hate) but I'm absolutely hooked and cannot wait for series 4 to come. I threaten anyone with death if I'm disturbed when watching this show!! lol



Love this show - I suppose It's the dancer in me.I even tolerate the host Daryl Sommers ( a pain in the butt I can tell ya) because I love it so much.



Inspires me to greater things.



Big Brother (Australia) I know (Hangs head in shame) why do I start to watch these things. lol

ROUTINES

First of all I survived going back to work, It has been a little difficult as I've had several people ask me if I was alright as I know I seem like I'm dead from the neck up. I just want to do want I have to do and not get involved with any other issues.

Next Monday is a public holiday here - Queen's Birthday (Happy Birthday Lizzie) so I have decided to take the rest of the week off as leave so I can get my shit together. I just want some time on my own and try to get myself in some sort of routine again. Routines are good for people with depression.

In an effort to stick to the routine, I weighed in this morning, had a loss of 1.2kg so am glad to see I haven't gained as I haven't been too arsed about sticking to the plan of late. Maybe I need to have that attitude more often or maybe there are calories in tears.

THANKYOU

Thank you for all your comments of support on my last post. I want to let you all know they were much appreciated and helped make a grey day brighter. I also want to tell you I am still reading your blogs even though I'm not making any comments.

My weekend was a "forced" one. Just about everything I did I had to force myself to do it. I forced myself to go grocery shopping on Saturday, I forced myself to do some housework. If I hadn't done this I would have stayed in bed all weekend as I feel constantly tired and run down from consistent interrupted sleep.

I am absolutely dreading going to work tomorrow, think I'd rather get bamboo sticks shoved under my toenails then have to go, but I'll probably front up.

On a brighter note during my hiatus last week, my daughter celebrated her 16th birthday.We gave her tickets to see Pink in concert with two of her friends, they all said the concert was fantastic and she was very entertaining, so I'm glad she liked it. The photo I am posting of her was taken At her 4th birthday when she had a fairy party.As you can see I really created the atmosphere and was still finding freaking fairy dust everywhere for the next 12 mths. I love this photo it's one of my favourites.

THE BLACK DOG RETURNS

Iv'e written this post about 5 times,not counting the zillion times Iv'e tried to contruct it in my head. I have had a pretty stressful week of it,trying to juggle work and family committments. I suppose to the average healthy person it is just everyday living, for me at the moment it is like trying to climb Mt Everest with a pair of thongs(flip flops)on.

I think the black dog has returned, my depression has always been excaserbated by stress and this last week has been pretty stressfull.

At the moment I'm running on auto pilot, I have no jest for anything at the moment and everything is an effort, I feel like I "want to get off the bus" and find a nice dark cosy place to get through this.Depression is the pits, it's anger without the enthusiasm, it's a black bottomless pit, it is a disease that seems to lack hope.

As usual I'm trying to analyse why I'm feeling this way which of course brings up all the negative thoughts, so I'm probably better off not doing it.

On the way to work this morning I was travelling behind a truck on the Motorway and there was a slogan on the back which read "Disipline is the bridge to reaching goals and acheivements" it struck a chord with me as I lack it big time, in alot of areas in my life.