Monday 2 February 2009


Dear Digestive System

I have sat here for hours trying to construct a worthy defence of my actions, but alas I am lost for anything credible that was not a big fat pack of excuses.

I seem to enjoy pushing the envelope in what I can eat, I mean in regards to the foods they say lapbanders can't eat like bread,red meat etc etc. I just seem to enjoy being able to say, "Yes, I bloody well can eat those things - see"!

It's the defiant Celtic Girl coming out, you know the one who likes to prove people wrong. Maybe I need everyone to tell me I won't ever lose my weight - a bit of good old reverse psychology may do the trick.

I have thought about it long and hard and I think it comes back to feelings of deprivation that food restriction brings.

Maybe it's my impatience causing all the grief, I always was someone who wants the quick fixes. Patience is not one of my virtues.

I am also "scared shit less" as we say here. I'm scared I really wont lose the weight and I will fail. I only told a few people about this but I feel there expectations overwhelming me. I know they are only being nice, but I hate it every time they ask me "How much weight have you lost now?"
I swear sometimes there is a look of "I told you so" in their eyes when I say "nothing this week".

Lapband and I are still in our honeymoon period, I must admit being a little disappointed she is not having the desired effect on my appetite.The first 3 weeks were bliss, I could have my half cup of liquid/food and not even think about my next meal, but unfortunately that was short lived.

I've booked in a another fill in two weeks, so hopefully I'll get closer to the green zone I'm supposed to be in.

Since your letter I have made some effort, I have steered clear of the high fat foods and limited myself to 1200 cal a day. I have even started back at the gym,if you check with Heart and Lungs they will collaborate my story.

I have further work to do, I need to cut out the carbs again but am having difficulty as they are my comfort foods at the moment. I mean to say when you have a choice of a piece of hot buttered raisin toast and a boiled egg, what are you going to choose really?

As for killing Gallbaldder well her demise was a by product of losing too much weight too fast, even the Dr said that so I cannot be held totally responsible for that one.

I can assure you Brain was not ignoring Vagus,it was simply a case of "take a message and I'll get back to you shortly"

In closing, all I can plead is that I'm trying I really am, your letter and my reply has really made me think - it's been good therapy.

I'm sure we will have more trials and tribulations to get through before things are fine tuned, but always be assured I'm on your side

forever yours

Celtic Girl

PS please do not follow through with your threat involving Rectum, getting her to shut up shop will only cause the buildup to come out of my other end. I suffer enough from verbal diarrhoea as it is.

PPS I did not eat a three piece feed from KFC


Margaret said...

God you write so well. Like many others you are an intelligent women, and just like so many others ( self included) we just sabotage our efforts.Just think of the money you have spent on this and every other diet, in NZ lap band costs over $16000 Gastric bypass over $23000. This in itself would kick start me into doing it right. Good luck with controlling your eating.

Chris H said...

Hee hee , you are cracking me up!
As for other people asking about your weight, it is a pain in the arse for sure!
As if we only are a bloody number on the scales! Some people need a kick in the head. ONWARD.

CactusFreek said...

lol you're a dag!

Tania said...

LMAO - well you may not have lost the weight you wanted to by now but evidently you haven't lost your sense of humour either :-)

One day at a time mate - you WILL get there!

Anne said...

Best of luck!!

I can realte to the carbs - beats protein anyday. Real comfort food.

Michelle said... make me laugh :O)

It sounds like you need another fill, it does take a bit of time to find your sweet spot.

Once again thanks for making me smile :O)

Mick said...

You are so funny, lol