Sunday 31 December 2006


Started one of my activity goals today - took Oscar for a walk. It was a stop/start kind of walk as he had to sniff and pee on every tree and bush we passed! He is so funny to watch - he runs like a wart hog, head is held high and his little curly tail sits erect.
I call him "The Master of Disaster" as he has wrecked what little garden I have under our pergola. I love him to death though but am looking forward for the destructive puppy stage to pass. This is supposed to be my daughters dog. She conned me and her father into getting him in Sept. promising to look after him etc etc yadda yadda! I should have known better, it didn't last long. So guess who looks after him ! Me, the sucker !!

Today we had a day out - went to the coast, I was looking forward to a nice fish and chips lunch by the water. We were disappointed when the place we had chosen only sold hamburgers and hotdogs - oh well the scenery was beautiful and a nice sunny day, not to hot. On the way home my daughter spotted a chocolate shop so we stopped by to see what they had. They had the most delectable desserts all served with fresh strawberries and this scrummy dipping chocolate.We all had something (even though I'm chocced out after Xmas) for afternoon tea, it was nice but I felt a bit queasy after, it certainly is a once in a blue moon kind of thing.
Were having a quiet night in for New Years Eve this year, tomorrow we'll head next door for my mum's traditional New Years day dinner, then it's off the work on Tuesday. I am actually looking forward to resuming my healthier eating which is certainly a change from how I would feel after a bender like the one I had over Xmas. Things are looking up !

Friday 29 December 2006


OK, now the silly season is almost over I am going to start thinking about some goals I would like to achieve for 2007. My goals will be flexible to suit me and most important of all they will be achievable. I am going to put a start date of 2nd January, as that is when I go back to work as I always find sticking to the plan easier when I'm working. I'm not going to weigh myself until 2nd January, as I know I have put on as my back tells me every morning when I get up. It screams at me to "lose the lard barge arse or I'll cave in under the strain" lol

1. Resume a healthier eating regime - I am undecided about this at the moment as to do what I had been doing previously - which was sticking to 1500 cals a day and keeping fat at around 30-40 grams or do the Weight Watchers points programme - which I know like the back of my hand. I wouldn't mind even rejoining WW but the leaders in my area are about as exciting and inspirational as bat poo. A little bit of humiliation, oops motivation I mean always helps.

2. Start back at the Gym. I know, I know I've been saying this since I started this blog, I actually rang them to see what their opening hours were over Xmas to be told they were closed and wouldn't reopen until the 2nd Jan.So that's my start date - again. This time I will take it easy to start off with. I will aim for twice a week for the first month.

3.Start taking my dog Oscar for a walk at least once a day. He is a 6mth old pug x puppy with boundless energy so it will do both of us good.

4. Start a weight graph so I and everyone can see my progress and update on a weekly basis.

5. Be kind to myself and cut myself some slack when I need it.

That's it for now if I think of anything else I'll add it later.

Thursday 28 December 2006


Well it's all over for another year. All the hype, running around and preparation for the big day and it's all over as soon as it starts.

We started Christmas day with breakfast at our place with my parents. My eldest brother and his three kids came down from Gulgong (Country town in NSW) and we had lunch at my parents place. My mother makes the best roasts and we had turkey this year and it was delicious. I made the plum pudding and for a first attempt it was good, if I say so myself. I also made the Bounty Balls that were on Wanna_B_Slim's blog which were a sooo easy to make and were a big hit with everyone. In the afternoon I fell asleep on the lounge as I had a couple of glasses of red wine (3/4 of the bottle I think) . We then came back to my place for a light (light - that's a joke) dinner of ham,pork and salads. By the way, we didn't have far to go as I live next door to my folks !!

Boxing day was a rest day - my brother and his family left and I vegged out on the lounge and watched some biblical movies, The Bible and King of Kings.

I am dreading getting on the scales as I know for certain I have put on as I feel like I have. Why is it that when your on a diet everyone buys you chocolate. I have never in all my life received so much chocolate and crap like I have received this year. I tried so hard not to succumb, but unfortunately lost that fight. I have also tried giving it away. Even my daughter who is a self confessed chocoholic has refused the stuff. I think I'll bring in in to work when I get back, I can only hope I can survive the temptation. I can see if I don't get back into the swing of things very shortly I'll just revert back to my old eating habits which I certainly don't want.

By the way , I got an apology from my daughter. I am still bruised from the incident. I have made a decision not to give her everything she wants like I have done. My husband says we give her everything and we get nothing back in return (he is referring to common decency and respect). He is right - so I'm holding fast as she wants to go to a concert in January and she won't be going.

Thursday 21 December 2006


Well, I should be feeling on top of the world today as it is the last day of work and a half day at that. Unfortunately, I'm feeling pretty shite as my 15 year old daughter had one of her teenage angst moments last night and told me she hated me and I was a f#%king bitch. This morning was no better - refused to say goodbye and when I said she should be apologising to me - I got another mouthful. I'm really at my wits ends with her - She is an extremely intelligent girl who has been raised in a good loving home. As a only child my husbands and my life has always revolved around her. Maybe that's the problem, we have given her to much.

My mother says it is a stage and it will end soon - but I'm sorry I don't believe she should be carrying on like that with anyone especially me - her mother.

Anyway, I want to wish you all a very happy and safe Christmas to you all.

Tuesday 19 December 2006



1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?


2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?


3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?


4. Do you hang mistletoe?


5. When do you put your decorations up?


6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?


7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?


8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?


9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?


10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?


11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?


12. Can you ice skate?


13. Do you remember your favorite gift?


14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?


15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?


16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?


17. What tops your tree?


18. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving?


19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?


20. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum?


21. Do you have music playing while decorating your tree and house?


22. Artificial tree, pre-cut tree, or cut-your-own tree?


23. Do you have Christmas decorations in your bathroom? Or, where is the oddest place you have decorations in your house?

Monday 18 December 2006


I hope this santa stops by at my place !!!! lol


Well I survivied the family get together. I was completely buggered by the end of the day as we started setting the hall up at 9.00am. Well, now to the million dollar question - Did they notice my weightloss ???? A couple of cousins did but most people commented on how much better I looked this year. So all in all I'm pleased with that. I know when you have heaps of weight to shift like me a 20 kilo loss is not easily reconisable when you only see someone once a year.
The important thing is how I feel - and I felt pretty good.

The spread was fantastic and I had what I wanted and didn't go overboard with the food. My cousin made a to die for christmas pudding - Yummo. It was her first time as my Aunt always used to make them and she is the Master of the Christmas Pudding - All Hail Gloria !!!! He he he

After lunch my mum organised some games for the wee ones, but all the adults got into the swing of it, so we all had a great time with heaps of laughs. Even though we only see most of these people once a year, we always fit back together so easily. I suppose thats what being in family is about. That's the thing I like about Christmas - the caring and sharing part.

OK, so now, how did I go on the scales today. Well my answer is I don't know. The F*@# scales
decided to "chuck a wobbly". There digital and I've had them for ages, so me thinks I need a new set. I'm going to wait until after Christmas when the sales start and buy a good set, you know the ones that tell you body fat percentage etc etc. I need to be extra diligent now I don't have my security blanket. Anyway I better go and start some work - BORING!!

Friday 15 December 2006


It's friday, it's 4.30pm and I am waiting for the clock to strike 5pm so I can get out of here. It has been a bloody boring day . I have gots heaps of work but could not get into anything today. Maybe it's the weather (Humid and raining) or the fact there's only 4 more working days till the Xmas shutdown, and I still have a heap of things top do at home.

Tomorrow is our family get together for Christmas. There will be around 65 of us from my mum's side. We hire a hall and all pitch in with the food. It is usually a good day, but a lot of work. I wonder if anyone will notice I have lost 20 kilos. I'll be pissed off if they don't because they sure do notice when it's put on! (lol). I have also had some weird cravings today - probably because I'm bored. I succumbed and bought some Kettle Chips, they were yummy but I'm paying for it now with the reflux( Yukky). Iv'e just been given a lovely hamper from some guys here at work. It has choccy covered macadamias,shortbreads,peanuts,jams etc everything I'm not supposed to have. Oh well, I'll take them home and leave them on the counter and they are sure to go.

Monday 11 December 2006



Do I sound excited - HELL YEAH !! I've made it to my first mini goal of losing 20 kilos by Christmas. Lets see what the reli's say this year at our annual christmas get together.

My weekend was fairly hectic with Christmas shopping, looking for cookie cutters and pudding bowls. I have volunteered to make my first christmas pudding this year so am excited and nervous at the same time as my mother makes the best mouthwatering puddings, so I have some tough competition. Even if it was crap she would still say it was good - that's my wonderful mother for you.

There seems to be a distinct lack of Christmas spirit around at the moment. Everyone comments on the same thing. I havn't seen a Santa Claus ot carolers in the malls yet. I or should I say we put our chrissie tree up yesterday and after bloomin well putting up 200 fairy lights only to find out they didn't work, so down they came and Daerly beloved and myself were looking for any broken globes. We found 2 , went and got replacements and they still didn't work, so I think it's time to buy another set. Grrr ! I love my christmas tree I have it decorated all in gold.creams,silvers and white. When it's finished I'll try and post a photo.
Anyway better go and start some work - Ciao!

Friday 8 December 2006

Oh the pain !!

In my last post I was looking forward to a massage as I was having trouble with some spasm in my lower back. The massage itself was wonderful though a bit sore in places particilary over my sacro-iliacs joints and gluteas medius muscles. The next day OMG the pain was so intense and radiated through to my stomach, it was so bad I couldn't concentrate opn anything and went home from work. Dearly beloved had the next day of and drove me to work as I had to do the wages and could not drive due to all the pain (happy pills) I had taken. God knows if I made any errors with the wages as I was on the ceiling when I did then! lol.

I finally succumbed to the Dr's yesterday and has refferedd me to a specialist (dang) I hate doctors.Here we go again around the Merry Go Round. Only good point it's not till January 07.
I am now back at work and my desk looks like a bomb has hit it as NOONE does ANY of my work for me - Do I sould pissed ??? Damn right I am.

The only upside to all of this was I lost another kilo, as the pain meds make me quite nausesous and I didn't feel like eating. Hmmmm I"m going to a couple of parties on the weekend, maybe that can be my buffer?? lol. Any way will sign off for now and wish everyone a great weekend.
Talk to you next week.

Monday 4 December 2006

A loss is a loss

I lost .800kg today.I am happy with that as I haven't been 100% on the programme. Where coming into the silly season and I am a bit fearful I will fall off the wagon and not be able to get back on it.

I didn't make it to the gym on Saturday, due to as usual putting everything else as a priority eg. housework,washing,ironing etc. I work fulltime and I don't do any housework during the week (other than cooking and washing up). I always put everyone else first, and me last. Hmmm, must speak to dearly beloved about some "me" time as he manages to get to the gym 4 times a week as well as going out to his
poker tournaments.I am having a massage tonight so am looking forward to that as my lower back has been in spasm for a couple of days now.Arr, I can feel it now!!!!

Thursday 30 November 2006


Today for some reason I am starving. I am so hungry I could eat the crutch from a low flying duck!!!! Can't find a reason for it - have been drinking my water. I ate my days snacks by 11am and I unfortunately succumbed to a custard tart when the coffee van came which of course I now regret.

Last night Dearly Beloved and I went to our daughters school as they were having a performing arts night. Our daughter had the lead in the Yr 9 Drama play which was a modern day version of the biblical Jonah and the Whale story (she attends an Anglican college).The play was written like a Phillip Marlowe detective story - you know where the detective narrates the story between scenes. My daughter was the detective and was on stage for most of the performance. I must say she was very good, she did the whole play in an American accent which did not falter throughout. I was amazed and surprised how well she did. It was the same a week earlier when I attended the debating final - I came away thinking she should be a lawyer now I think maybe an actor.

I have a couple of challenges over the weekend - food wise. I am still planning to get to the gym on Saturday, so fingers crossed I get there.

Wednesday 29 November 2006

Onwards and Upwards

I have lost 17 kilos since May 06. I have achieved this by sticking to 1500 cal a week. Up until July I was going to the gym 2-3 times a week. I suppose my improved mood has helped stick to the plan as previously I couldn't stick to anything for longer than 3 days. Like most overweight people I had tried every diet known to mankind, I always knew what I had to do but just couldn't put the two together. It feels different this time, I can't explain why, it just does.
My goal for the next week is to start back at the gym again, as I know this will speed up the losses and in the long run make me feel physically better. But I must admit I am not looking forward to starting again as last time I couldn't walk or do anything for 3 whole days. Poor Dearly Beloved had to pull me up off everything as my quads were so painful. I think this time I will halve what the trainer tells me to do.

Tuesday 28 November 2006

My Epiphany

After 7 long years struggling with my ever increasing weight, chronic pain that was getting worse feeling like crap all the time and trying to hold down a full time job and run a household, my GP very gingerly suggested I may be depressed. WELL HELLO ! This guy should be nominated for a Nobel prize!!!! Who wouldn't be freaking well depressed with all this going on. I suppose I have known all along I was depressed but we all think - NO, this is only temporary and I can't be depressed. Also the social stigma side of this illness, people see it as a weakness or something you don't admit to or talk about. I could not ignore it any longer, as I hated the person I had become, so I agreed to see someone about it. That was nearly 12 months ago and I must say the medication and more importantly the talking has helped enormously. That's one of the reasons I have started to blog, as I bottled things up and the pot was always bubbling over.

I decided last May to do something about my weight, so Dearly Beloved, my brother and me joined our local gym. Things were going well,when in July my brother was crushed to death at work. As you can imagine it has shattered our family, my poor, poor mother has been in a terrible way, trying to come to terms with this. I suppose it is made worse because we do not how it happened as there has to be an investigation. His death has been my epiphany, it has made me realise life is to short and we owe it ourselves and our families to fight for it and live to the max.

So dear Gavin, I will do this for you.

Saturday 25 November 2006

The Saga Continues

Before I start to waffle on - I updated my tracker today to show the 1 kg loss I had - WOOOHOOO!!! Isn't it a good feeling when we achieve something ( had almost forgotten and given up on having those feelings again)

OK , I was just reading back the second trilogy to my life saga and I realised I wasn't doing what my mantra ans my blog name is KISS - Keep it Simple Stupid. My attention to detail and perfectionist attitude has been part of the reason I haven't stuck to any diets or lifestyle changes before, Everything was black & white to me, there was no middle ground and if I failed I was my own worst critic. Well, no,no,no I'm now cutting myself some slack,being kinder to myself and since July 06 it is working. I sometimes go 2 steps back f.or 1 step forward but there is a light at the end of the tunnel (even though it is only a pinprick!)

I remember my life stages by what weight I was at the time. When I left school I started nursing and lived in at the Hospital, I gained about 20 extra kilos. Looking back it was the stress of leaving home, doing shift work and my beloved Nana passing on. Consequently I have fat 21st photos which I hate to look at. Around this time I discovered Duromine (a prescription appetite suppressant) and wow, did those suckers work - I lost the 20 odd kilos in about 3 months without trying and I did not feel hungry at all. The downside though was I couldn't sleep and had to stop taking them after I developed tachycardia(abnormally fast heart beat). Met my soon to be husband around this time, who'll I'll call Dearly Beloved or DB, we courted for 4 years before we married in 1987. My wedding weight was 85 kilos a size 16 and boy was I depressed about that. God what I would give today to be a size 16 instead of a 22/24. I fell pregnant 3years later and went on the biggest eating binge in history and by the time I was wheeled into the delivery room for a caesar I weighed 110 kilos, OMG did I feel like a Beluga whale or what. Thankfully within 6 months after the birth when I returned to work I had lost all the weight plus some to come in at 80kilos. Several years before I had given up Nursing and started to work for a steel company (yeah I know what a contrast). I had a phenomenal rise up the ladder with this company, becoming the first woman sales rep, centre manager and state branch manager - I really loved this job and the people there. One day in Sept 98 I was called in for a "meeting" to find I was being made redundant - what a slap in the face that was after 13 years of loyal service. It totally sent me in a spiral. I found out much later it was simply because I was a women and they were weeding the woman out of the business (There weren't many of us). So began my downward spiral which I might add I didn't know I was having until 7 years later. During this time I gained 51kgs, lost all self esteem (didn't have much to start with) and could not find a job similar to the level I was on. My first name can also be a man's name so I always got an interview,even had CEO's ring me, but as soon as they found out I was a woman that was the end of it. So when I did finally get a job it was at a lower level and much lower salary. Now don't get me wrong I'm not a bra burner or hard arse career gal, but I believe in equality for all and if people are capable and qualified to do a job, your sex, race ,size etc etc should play no part in it. So, the last 7 years have been a horror time for me, with weight,health financial issues. You hear people talk about rock bottom, well I always make an attempt to talk myself up, but I think I was pretty close to it, so much so there seemed no hope........ to be continued

I did it !

Woohoo ! I finally did my tracker. A big thank you to Cactusfreek for showing me how. My goal weight is my wedding weight, I think that is a good weight to aim for in the interim. According to WW my goal weight is 72-65 kilos ! - Yeah right last time I weighed 65kgs (I was 19) I looked like a biafran on steroids !!

Ok, lets start this thing.

I grew up in a loving family, the only girl with 3 brothers (2 older,1 youngter) I was a normal weight until thr age of 12 when the Juvenile Arthritis I had diagnosed at 2, worsened and I had to cease all forms of activity including my beloved Highland Dancing (Scottish). My mum bought me a piano, got me some lessons and virtually wrapped me up in cotton wool so to speak, as that's what the doctors told her to do. So began my career with the medical profession which still hounds me to this day. All this inactivity of course made me stack on the weight aggravated by the cortisone (steroids) I was on to quell the inflammation. Due to my condition I always felt different from everyone else and everything I did or wanted to do revolved around my "complaint". So from here on I always was "fat" and or thought I was fat. High School was a bit of a nightmare at times (though thank god I went to a all girls school) I hated going swimming and to dances and stuff every teenager loved to do. I did have though, 4 great friends who remain close to this day, BUT I was always the brunt of the jokes, like spreading my jam sandwich across my science book, or hanging my bra(after swimming) up the school flag pole etc etc. I did my best to laugh it off, but deep down it hurt like hell and I was always on my guard as to what would happen next. I always had this feelin of not being good enough and of course I blamed my weight and my health........... (To be continued)

Friday 24 November 2006

Holy crap ! I've been sitting here for such a looong time not knowing where to start with this thing. So I thought after much soul searching I would start at the beginning. First though I would like to make a few notable mentions on how and why I've started this blog.

I've been an avid reader of a few blogs over the last couple of years and it was extremely comforting to me to learn that I was:-

1. Not alone
2.Other people were experiencing the same "challenges" in regard to weight loss and life.

I have been a EXTREMELY private person, I don't usually tell anyone how I'm feeling not even my family(hence why my arse is 10 pick hammers wide) so ,I thought I would not be able to do this. But, last July, my baby brother was tragically killed in a workplace accident and it has made me realise that this life is to short and should be lived to the max, as there are no second chances. So, here I am, this blog will be my therapy and I hope I make you laugh more than I make myself cry, my next post I will start at the beginning of how's and whys.

Tuesday 21 November 2006

My Mantra

Bring out the marching bands, crack the champagne ! After much deliberation and procrastination I have started a blog. I have been an avid reader of several blogs(all mainly weight loss orientated) for some time now, so have now decided to jump on the band wagon.

I've named my blog after my current mantra, which I'm using to cut out all the crap and get straight to the issue.. I've got a heap of weight to lose and am looking for all the help I can get. I'm also a bit of a computer philistine so once I can work out how to do things, I'll post one of those weight loss graphs I see on all the other sites. If anyone has any suggestion I would appreciate your comments.

Ciao for now.