I'm using these last few days of 2007 to prepare for my fightback.I have decided to throw down the gauntlet, stop pussy footing around and get some runs on the board again with the weightloss. I have eaten way to much over Xmas and it's time to STOP.
Watch this space sports fans!
I was looking at some old photos and have handpicked some taken over the years which are my favourites.
My all time favourite of my two brothers and I. I always get a laugh when I look at this photo. As was usual back then it was a stinking hot day and we were about to get under the water sprinklers.
I think I was about 3 in this photo. I know this because I was diagnosed with Juvenile Arthritis at 3 and if you look at the middle finger on my left hand you will notice how swollen it is as that's where it all started.
Still sitting on Santa's knee with some school friends at 18. I think we certainly made this Santa's day. I distinctly remember him having a bit of a feel!! lol!!
Taken on Christmas Day on my mothers front lawn, My daughter was three, isn't she a cutie. (I'm biased of course!)
My previous dog, Page who has now passed. I used to put this hat on him every Christmas and take him with me when handing out the neighbours gifts. Such a beautiful dog, had such a placid temperament. Very quiet and content to sit at my feet, unlike the Master of Disaster I have now. Fat chance of me even getting that hat remotely near my current dog, Oscar!
Well my family gathering went well, a good time was had by all.It was a little disappointing the day was overcast and rained, but at least it was not stinking hot.
Here's a piece of useless trivia I learnt from my Aunty. We have a beach named after my family in New Zealand. My maternal grandfather (from Scottish parents) was born in NZ. Seems the family were early settlers in the area. We still have relatives in NZ with my grandads cousin who is 98 (god bless her) still alive. I would really like to meet her.
I stuck to my plan and had what I wanted, which really was not a great deal,but unfortunately the scales did not think so and I faced an upward movement of 2 kilos of which I have already dropped 1 kg. It really makes you think is it worth the hassle of breaking the diet. I mean it takes a good 3-4 weeks for me to drop that weight but only 1 freaking day to bung it back all on - really pisses me off.
I suppose I have to add in all the "tastings" I'm doing as well. I've been baking things like White Chocolate and Macadamia cookies, Rocky Road (orgasmic!! - lol) and Fruit Mince Pies, so I have to admit sampling all of them.
We'll have to see how I handle my next "bust out" day.
Today I spent 12 hours at work doing all the Xmas wages, boy what a day could almost turn me to the drink. I'm keeping my fingers crossed all are correct.Two more days to go then 2 weeks off - yippee!!!!
Start tapping your toes while you listen top this blast from thr past
Do you all remember that disco hit, if I can find it on you tube I will download it for you. The tune is going over and over in my head as I type this. I am so glad I have two days off the regroup and start work at my "second" job - home.
Weighed in today had a small loss from my last weight .800grams (1.76 lbs), it has been a hard slog I might add as I have been extremely diligent over the past few weeks. I've got my first challenge coming up on Sunday - our extended family Xmas luncheon, where I plan to have what I want and not think about the diet.
Hope everyone has a great weekend and I'll give you a run down how I went next week.
As we say here in Australia - "keep 'em together"!
I've been thinking alot about how I'm going to tackle the silly season food wise this year.
Last year I used it as an excuse the eat anything that wasn't nailed down to make up for the feelings of deprivation I felt. After my pig out I found it extremely hard to get back into the swing of things and really when I think about it I didn't recover from the binge.
If I went back and counted up the kilo's I have lost in 2007 it would probably be around the 15 maybe even 20 kilo mark. Only problem is I have lost, then gained,lost then gained. I think I used the term "piss farting around" a couple posts ago which was apt. I have wasted time and opportunity this year for which I have no one to blame but myself and take full responsibility for.
Over the past few weeks, I have been good,very good I must say with the food. I have had some tough battles with chocolate,ice cream etc and have won most of them, so I am proud of myself for that.Where I have not been good is on the exercise front. I need to get back to the gym again, I know I have to do it but just cant seem to muster the motivation to "just do it". I don't know why I'm struggling with this as I know fully well I will feel better once I get back into it.
This Xmas I have tabled 3 days where I am going to relax the diet and have what I want (without having to be rolled away from the table!!)
1. Dec 16th - Lunch only. This is the annual family get together on my mothers side.
Theres so many of us we hire a hall and self cater it.
2. Dec 24th - Evening only, we celebrate with my sister in law and her kids and she always bakes scrummy shortbread and rocky road to die for!
3. Dec 25th - Xmas Day - All Day.
So that's the plan, it may seem a bit simplistic to you, but it has eased my anxiety as I do not want a repeat performance of last year.
2008 is going to be a slimmer year for me - no excuses!!!
Tonight my daughter Alexandra is off to her school formal. We have spent the day going to the hairdressers where she had her hair coloured and cut and then to the beautician's who did her makeup for her.
She was very excited and I must say looked lovely in her new outfit, it brought a tear to my eye. As she is in year 10 this is really a practise run for the major one which will take place at the end of her senior year in 2009.
It's times like these when you wonder where did all the years go.
Yes, you are reading this correctly, the 2nd post in 2 days, must be a record. lol!
I'm trying to take my mind of food. I've got one of my "headaches", you know the ones where you what to eat anything and everything, particularly sweet and sugary. I am feeling a little desperate and have been scouring the cupboards. I've even contemplated opening up the cooking chocolate I've got that's how desperate I feel.
I will do my best to abstain as I know after I have scoffed it down, I will feel worse than I do now.
I'm posting a photo of my dog Oscar, it's his way of telling me he wants to play ball, pleading me with those googly eyes of his. I reckon he's taking his life in his own hands or paws I should say, sticking his head there, with the risk of getting lost in the vortex!!! ha ha ha
He's cute, the last photo looks like a promotional shot, you know the ones actors have at their agencies. Don't you just love the paw on my foot.
I'm off now, going to make myself a cup of tea - Twinings! Yes please.
Yesterday was the sentencing hearing for my brothers workplace fatality in relation to his employers, as they put in a guilty plea. My husband and I took my parents into the city. As they had pleaded guilty I thought we would have some closure on this. I was mistaken, we sat through two hours of deliberation from both the defense and the prosecution. The defense offered up all these reasons why the judge should be lenient in his decision, of how they paid for and attended the funeral, of them only being a small family business and even trying to wrangle out of their duty of care in relation to adequate training, by saying they only employed people with learning difficulties and that is why they only gave verbal training and not written training. What a crock of shit! The latter really upset us all, as it was implied my brother was illiterate. Yeah they contributed to the part of the funeral expenses and only after I spoke to them about it.So after all that, we have to wait for the judges decision which we were told may be by February next year, or he may wait until the trial is over for the manufacturers of the machine which starts in Feb 08.
I have taken the week off work as I did not know how long this was going to take, also because I feel so tired out I didn't think I could last until the Chrustmas holidays. Christmas is really such an anti climax these days, for the last couple of years I just seems to come and go in the blink of an eye.
Today I spent the day spring cleaning and putting up the Christmas tree and decorations. It's a job I hate the thought of but something well worth the effort as I really love my tree.
My assistant who has had the past 4 weeks off re tuns to work today - hallelujah! praise the lord!.
Unfortunately the frenetic pace won subside immediately at least for another week. Now I have to shift my focus to our end of year stocktake which I have to come in and work this coming Saturday. For me all the work is in the preparation so it will still me 10-12 hour days - yukky. It all caught up with me late last week I had to leave work I was feeling so craptastic, the Doc said I had a kidney infection (first time for that one) gave me some antibiotics and said if I'm not better my Monday to come back.
Well it's Monday and I feel a little better, but wished I didn't have so much work to do otherwise I would not have come in, personally I think I'm a little run down.
My eating over the past couple of weeks has been OK, just OK, I don't think there has been a day go by I haven't snuck something in my gob I should not have. I jumped on the scales today and was surprised to see I had lost from my last weigh in of a couple weeks ago - 119.8kg (263.56 lbs) a loss and under the 120kg mark.
Thinking back this time last year when I was really in the zone, I managed to get down to 121k (266.2 lbs) that's a grand total OF 1.2kg (2.64lbs) for the year - HOW BLOODY PATHETIC IS THAT
I've pissed farted around for the past year and let a lot of things slips, not only on the weight loss front, so I'm really disappointed at myself for that. On the positive side at least I haven't gained,at least I'm still trying and most importantly I still want the ultimate goal of reaching the weight loss shangri la.
I have been tagged by the the two lovelies - Nona and Cactus.
FOUR DISHES I LOVE TO COOK
Roast Dinner (Any meat with baked potato,kumara,pumpkin,zucchini and onions)
Cajun Baked Salmon Steaks (So easy Delicious and low fat)
Penne Pasta in my special Mushroom Bolognaise Sauce
I love making desserts like cheesecakes and lemon meringue pies are a speciality
FOUR QUALITIES I LOVE IN OTHER PEOPLE
Loyalty - someone you can count on in thick and thin
Humor - I love a good laugh and like to make people laugh
Honesty - Goes without saying
Directness - I like to know where I stand with people and abhor pussy footing around.
FOUR PLACES I HAVE BEEN
Bali
Malaysia
New Zealand
Singapore
FOUR THINGS IN MY BEDROOM
My king size bed - bliss,best purchase of 2006
My computer and workstation
Tallboy
Scales
FOUR DIRTY WORDS I USE
Most derivatives of F*ck particularly "F*ck me dead" "F*ucking hell","F*ucking wanker"
"F*ck wit"
Sh*t
Piss off
Let me add most of the time these are said in my own company or are thoughts, swearing and having a potty mouth in public is one of my pet hates.
As Aussies are famous for their sayings I am going to add another one
FOUR SAYINGS I LIKE TO USE
"Flat out like a lizard drinking"
"Useless as tits on a snake"
When being asked question that elicits a YES answer,"Does a bear sh*t in the woods?" "Is the Pope a catholic?" and "Does Rose Kennedy own a black dress?"
And my all time favourite when asking someone to do something and I get a negative response. "Gee I only asked you to take the garbage out , not donate me your liver!
Taking my daughter shopping today to get some things she needs to take away to camp. She has finished her exams, they go away for a couple of days next week, so it will just be me and the Oscar the wonder dog next week. Oh well at least he loves me unconditionally.
Last weekend I went to a expo called Mind,Body and Spirit. There were displays there ranging from natural therapies, new age therapies and even fortune telling. Alison Du Bois (who the show Medium is based on was there) and talked on stage for about an hour. I must admit I find that sort of thing fascinating and have read a few books over the last 12 mths.
While I was there I had a session with a medium,while there were a few holes in what she said, there were a quite a few things where she hit the nail on the head so to speak.I told her at the beginning I wanted to make contact with my brother who died last year. One of the things she said he kept doing was sing this song over and over again. She said the song was for my mother and was my brothers way of trying to ease her pain. The song was "Tell Laura I Love Her" and since when this was first mentioned I am hearing this song over and over again. I was pretty taken back when Mick had it as one of his Music Monday songs - pretty spooky I think. It just seems like a strange song for my brother to pick as he wasn't even born when it was released, hell I wasn't even born in 1960 when it was released.
I bought a book while I was there titled "You are Clairvoyant - Developing the secret skill we all have" It is interesting and gives exercises to tune your mind and body energy. About all it's doing for me is sending me to sleep - ha ha ha, well at least it's a good relaxation tool.
I have been having a huge problem with fluid retention for the past week,by the end of the day my ankles are huge. I took this photo mid afternoon, my ankle has turned into a "cankle" and there is a ankle bone somewhere underneath the swelling, I think I may need to get my blood pressure meds checked it it doesn't improve.
I'm off to bed now to practise balancing my chakra's or whatever that is!!!
This post was going to be my swan song. I had decided to stop blogging or at least take a break away from it. I felt like I wasn't getting anything from it and in the 12 months I had been blogging my weight has yo-yo ed. I have had more ups and downs than a brides nightie on her honeymoon.
Part of the reason I feel like taking a break is I'm just so damn busy at the moment and do not seem to get time to do anything.I feel like I'm letting myself down and also letting down all the great and really nice people I have met in the last 12 months because I just don't have the time to be more involved. If anyone feels like that I'm truly sorry.
I spoke to my boss today to ask for a week off in early December. The court case for my brothers death starts and my mother wants to go which is understandable. It will on;y take a couple of days, I want to take the whole week as quite frankly I don't think I will be feeling emotionally great after the event. I was surprised if not a little pissed off at the reaction I got.
I got the third degree on why I needed the whole week,when it would take a few days blah blah blah. I got pissed off because for the past 4 weeks Ive been doing 10 -12 hour days. I have been working my ring off as my assistant is away and I'm carrying her can as well as mine, while doing work for the 2 new branches. For a spilt second I was going to cave in and say I could change it to 2 days as I was just too busy to have a week off.
Next,I open up my blog and I read a comment from my dear old friend Chubbymum and her "getting back on track" comment strikes a chord with me. I start to read some of your blogs, the first one I hit is Spidey's, he's feels like he cannot say what he thinks without upsetting some of his readers and is going to stop blogging in his current blog. I must admit I felt a pang of pain when he said he would stop writing on his blog we have come to love for exactly the same reasons he is getting flack for - his take no prisoners approach.
I don't know exactly what or why but all these things put the fire back in my belly so I have decided against the break. I found this picture and thought it was apt - Al, this ones for you and me
Work is really pissing me off at the moment. Spending allot of hours there, up to 11 hours a day, every day, it seems I just come home to sleep, wake up and go back there.It wouldn't be so bad only for the a-holes I work with.
I'm talking about people who don't try the "self help" method first and disturb you to ask a stupid question that if they had bothered they could have found the answer out themselves. They also expect me and my colleague to fix every f*cking thing that goes wrong in the place from unjamming the photocopier to being told we have run out of coffee - like I'm the freaking tea lady or something or worse still their wife.
Yes, they are all males (sorry guys) and what makes it worse is my colleague runs herself ragged to do their bidding, while complaining about it and doing the old martyr routine. She then gets the shits with me because I am assertive (OK more like aggresive) enough to tell them where to go - so I'm f*cked on both counts.
Now don't get me wrong I'm the first person who will help anybody in need, what I can't stand is people who are too lazy to get off their fat a*ses and do things for themselves. Ok rant over!!!
Weighed in this morning and am recording a gain which I totally expected,it has though improved over the last week as the numbers were much higher. All I can do is keep plugging away and not use my current stress levels as an excuse to pig out.
To all my friends who celebrate Halloween, I hope you have a good one. And remember to go for the tricks rather than the treats!
One for the ladies
I'm no longer a bee's dick away from the teens. It's looking more like a camel's dick at the moment.
I went to a 50th birthday bash on the weekend, it was fully catered, I will say no more, I had to be rolled out of the house. I had good intentions of staying on track Sunday and Monday,but failed at the 8pm mark,on both occasions. Gotta work extra hard tonight to get over the hump.
I'm not going to weigh in tomorrow as I know there will be a gain, so like Christine, I'm giving myself a "pass" from weigh in this week, only for this week no matter how my week goes.
I am going to requisition a vodka cooler as I am going to need it over the next four weeks, hell I need it now. Work is extremely busy at the moment and my assistant has just gone on leave for one month ( The Biatch !!!!! lol).
We are spending this weekend by the water, a nice unit overlooking the harbour, about an hours drive, it will be a nice change of scenery. Only problem is they have forcasted rain, here we are in a drought and it decides to rain when we get a chance to go away- figures!!!!
Weighed in this morning with a loss of .600kg ( 1.36lbs) taking my weight to 120.2kg (264.44 lbs) a mere bees dick away from the teens again.
I'm happy with that, as I'm still not doing any planned exercise, though I did make it to the gym once last week which I know just really didn't count for anything. I have a surprise 50th this weekend, (not mine - yet! lol)so I have a lot of self talk to do before I go to ensure I don't undo all the hard work Ive done over the last 3 weeks.
I want to make a special mention to all my friends out there in cyberspace and anyone else who is struggling at the moment,you people have helped keep the flame alive in me and made me not want to throw the towel in ,even though I have come close a couple of times, so know I am there for you and if anyone would like to email me directly to talk over some things please do as I would love to hear from you. Hope you all have a great day.
Well my shoe shopping of last week went well. In fact it went very well. I have never before had such a successful day shopping for shoes, I was in shoe Utopia (if their is such a place). Heres some photos of my purchases.
Not bad for someone who has had so much trouble. The white pair are labelled "Dynamic Suspension" which made me laugh as they sounded like something you'd find on a car or tyres maybe.They are certainly very comfortable and I can feel the cushioning as I walk. WOOHOO!
Just a quick update as I will be flat chat all day.
Weighed in today for a 1 kg (2.2lb) loss.
Gotta be happy with that!
Tomorrow I'm going shopping to look for some summer sandals. I want to make it clear now - I HATE SHOPPING FOR SHOES.
As I type this I can almost hear every female suck their breath in dis belief how any normal woman could hate 1) shopping 2) especially for shoes. Now what could be the reasons for this loathing of all things shoe like I possess.
You see I have the irony to top all ironies - I have very,very,very narrow feet. Yes, you read right, n-a-r-r-o-w feet. How is it that everything else on me is wide or pendulous and in some cases - both! The only dainty things I possess are my bloody feet!
Now it hasn't always been like this folks, when I was younger ( and thinner) I never had a problem, I used to get around in 4 inch heels, ankle straps , court shoes in all textures and colours . I used to be able walk without pain, run, and dance until the wee hours of the morning.I think at one stage I owned around 70 pairs of shoes - I was a shoe-aholic. As I got older and fatter my feet paid the price and thanks to oh, around 6 stress fractures in my feet over the past 7 years I can no longer wear a heel any higher than 2 inches.
So, my choices are limited somewhat. What really jerks my chain is when I go into a shoe store most assistants take one look at me and assume fat arse means fat feet. No no-no, not in this case honey. I recall one assistant commenting on how "thin" my feet were in comparison to the rest of me, my retort was "Well, I have to have something going for me sweetheart - ha!
I can see it now, trying on endless pair after pair, that are either too wide,too high, not enough support - yada yada yada . For once I want to have something wider - my feet, please god let me find something to fit my narrow feet or at least make the rest of me narrow to match!!!
Well I had a loss - 2.8kg (6.16lbs) mainly water weight but hey it's a step in the right direction that's for sure.
This takes my regain down to 4kg (8.8lbs) which I sure hope I can knock off before the 12 week challenge ends.
Yesterday was a better day for me I drank more water (though not as much as I should have) and had a extra salad with my evening meal, so I will keep doing that for the time being.
Need to get back into the gym - I have been really slack on the exercise front, I need to make time to do it. Also I can feel my back is starting to ache more now which is a results of not exercising, it's true what they say "if you don't use, you'll lose it!!!
Weighed in this morning for a massive gain of 6.8 kg (15lbs), what a dickhead!
I knew it would be bad, but I didn't think it was quite THAT bad. Why in f*ck's name do I do it for.
Enough said, it's back on the straight and narrow for this little duck!!!
First of all, sorry I have not been around much, I still am working 10-12 hour days and am literally pooped at the moment. I have decided as of next week I'll only put in 2-3 days a week with these hours as 1) I cannot keep this pace up everyday 2) I'm not getting much kudos for the extra hours, it is sort of expected and one thing I hate is being taken advantage of.
Being so busy, I have also used this as an excuse to fall of the diet wagon - BIG TIME.
I use the word excuse as I really could have eaten much better than I have since stopping the low carb regime. I liken myself to a Great White Shark eating anything and everything in sight. It is really is pathetic, but I must take full responsibility for my actions as no one forced me to do it. I have no idea what the scales are saying, I'm to chicken to find out but I would guesstimate I have gained around 6kg (13lbs). EGAD!!!
Physically I feel like shit, my whole body is achy and I get headaches everyday and because I'm not drinking my water, I am retaining fluid. I have taken the weekend to sort myself out. I'm going back to my 1500 calories a day thingy. It's tried and true, all I need to do is plan.
Like we all know we all do better when we plan. Not planning for me is setting myself up to fail before I even start. So I am in the process of devising 4 weeks of eating based on the 1500 cal and will start Wednesday. I'm also going to try blogging more to help get me back in the swing of things. So that's it, I'll try and get round to all your blogs over the next couple of days.
Today I am going to list some items on Ebay, I have never done it before and thought I'd give it a go. Until Wednesday, if you hear a huge screech it will only be me weighing myself!! lol
Just a quick post to let you know I'm still here and still on the weight loss merry go round or more aptly in my case - roller coaster.
I'll post more details in the next few days.
DA, DA, DA DAH!!!!
Had a loss this morning 1.2 kg (2.64lbs), feeling happy, feeling relieved, still feeling hungry!!!!!
I have reached the 50lbs loss mark - woohoo!!
Looking back it has all been worth it of course, though I still feel empty and am still craving the carbs. I thought this would get better as time went on. I am staying strong though - at least until Sunday. It's my birthday on Sunday and I am going to have a "free"day so I want to be good until then. I was sooo good yesterday, a work colleague brought in home made pastries. They were laying out on the kitchen bench all day and I didn't succumb, I am so proud of myself.
Anyhow better go and start some work.
ps Just got my book, cant wait to start reading it tonight.
I'm eating so many veges, I'm stating to look like a head of broccoli.It's all good though, but I do miss the carbs every once in a while. OK everyday, NO EVERY BLOODY DOG DANG MINUTE OF THE DAY!!!. On the plus side I do feel better,have regular daily ablutions and my body shape is changing.So all is good at the moment, STILL waiting for my new book to arrive, hopefully today as I cannot bear the thought of being on the shakes for another week.
Today I have the day off work I have the rounds of Dr's to see (three) just what I love doing on a day off - NOT!
As we say here in Australia, I have been "flat out like lizard drinking" and havn't had much time to blog.
My weigh in was a non event - I stayed the same. I suppose it was to much to ask for a loss after my gigantor effect last week and also the fact I have had a couple of cheat days, so all in all a pleasing result.
Am feeling a bit bored on this diet at the moment, the new book I have ordered still hasn't arrived so am waiting for it eagerly.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Late last night ( and I emphasis late) I attempted to change my blog template and screwed it up big time.I very nearly lost the whole blog.
As you can see my blog appears smaller and squashed in, can anyone tell mw how to change this back???
Last week I was tagged by Mick (White Rose Boy), my apologies to Mick for not doing straight away, so here goes.
THINGS ABOUT ME
5 Things in my Refrigderator
- Veges,veges and more veges
- Skim Milk
- Eggs
- Cask of water
- Dog Food
5 Things in my Car
- Bat out of Hell CD
- Tissues
- Pen
- Street Directory
- Umbrella
5 Things in my Purse
- Money
- Credit cards
- Old Receipts
- Photo of my Daughter
- Drivers License
5 Things in my Closet
- Clothes
- Shoes
- Handbags
- Wedding Dress
- Hats
5 Things I want to see before I die.
- My weight down to at least 80 kilos( 176lbs)
- My daughter happy and content with her life
- Pyramids
- Tahiti
- Ireland
OK, the diet. Well the diet has been particulary hard, no bloody hard since starting back on it last Sunday. I am really struggling with it at the moment. I have the bad headaches back and my body is craving for some carbohydrates.A lesson has been learned. This is not a diet that can be broken, as it totally stuffs up the good work previously done. I feel totally craptastic again and it is taking all my resolve not gorge myself.
Back on the plan,after a small deviation on Saturday. Hubby and I went to a friends birthday bash, we both ate way to much and I also downed a few too many red wines. I didn't get too stressed about not sticking to my plan and I certainly was not going to take my shakes and eat the rabbit food. Sunday saw me get back on the wagon, so to speak.
We have had a couple of cold and rainy days here, you know the ones where the only thing you want to eat are the carbohydrate, dripping in saturated fat type foods - every obese person's Nirvana. I have struggled with the plan I must admit, particularly today and am already thinking what I can have for dinner (and I've just finished lunch). I need a hypnotist to get my mind of the food! Arrrrr
Having said all of this, yesterday I was shopping and bought myself a pair of size 20 jeans! WOW. A huge thing for me, as I cannot remember the last time I was a size 20, so am really happy with that. Every time I start thinking about food today, I think of my jeans and how I'll be an 18 soon. There is a god after all!!!
First thing this morning I jumped on the scales and was ecstatic to see the numbers.
I weighed in at 119kg. That's a loss of 3.4kg or 7.48lbs!!!
WOO FRIGGIN HOO!!!!
Can you tell that I'm happy about that. I could not believe it when I saw the numbers this morning and had weighed myself three times just to make sure it was right and yep 119kgs.
Just to give you a post mortem on my week. I started on a low carb high protein plan last week replacing two meals with protein shakes,having two pieces of low GI fruit, a salad with lunch and a serve of protein with veges at dinner. I was supposed to have no more than 120g of protein, but I really had more most nights 150-200g of steak,chicken,cheese. It was tough the first 3 days and I had bad all day headaches for 3 1/2 days, but after that it was easier, though a bit boring I must say. I have run out of the shakes, so will keep to a low carb regime until I can get to the shops again on the weekend.
I have ordered a book which the lovely Chubbymum told me about called "Neris & India's Idiot Proof Diet" which is a low carb diet, just what I'm looking for, so am excited about that.
I want to add also since I've been drinking 2 litres of water a day, my skin is clearer and I feel better in myself. One small change I have also noticed the roof of my mouth is smooth and not rough like it was obviously that was a hydration issue.
Anyway better go and do some work bye for now!
Time to get serious again about losing weight.
My commitment of last week to at least watch what I ate did not go to plan. It started off with a call from my Dr telling me the blood test I had for the gluten intolerance had been "compromised" so it would have to be done again in 2 months time as if they did it now it would not be a true reading as I have been eating gluten free for the past few weeks.
Compromised, don't you just love that word ,so ambiguous and medical talk for, "We don't know what the f*ck happened". So, being the good Celtic Girl that I am, I have been eating EVERYTHING gluten laden. Apple pie with cream everyday, pies. sausage rolls, kranksy's in pastry, KFC the sorry list goes on.
I weighed in today for a gain of .200 grams which surprised me I must admit considering what I've eaten over the past week. So it's back to the straight and narrow for me, which frankly I'm looking forward to as I must admit I feel fat and crappy at the moment from all the junk. I've got a birthday coming up in a little over 3 weeks so I would like to be at the 118 kg mark again.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY: "Action is the antidote to despair".
HANDLE EVERY SITUATION LIKE A FOX TERRIER
IF YOU CAN'T EAT IT OR SCREW IT
PISS ON IT AND WALK AWAY!
The pain in my ribs is getting better - thank goodness. I have been able to cut down on the painkillers considerably, only taking 1 lot in the morning. I still have to watch what I lift with my right arm and bending is a problem, but otherwise AOK.
Spent the weekend watching DVD's, Hannibal Rising (What a yawn - don't bother with this one.) The Illusionist ( entertaining,clever twist at the end 6/10) and Hot Fuzz (Quite funny, I am a fan of British humour 6/10).
Sunday I went to the shops as Estee Lauder had their gift with purchase on and I needed some foundation, also bought a nice new lipstick. When I got home I pampered myself with a body exfoliation and moisturise and treated my hair to a lovely L'Oreal hair treatment I purchased - very nice. I smelt so darn good the dog was following me around for the rest of the night!!! lol.
Have I mentioned I am now a redhead, must post a photo, it's a mahogany red, quite a change from my blonde and warm browns I usually have. I really like it and will keep it for a while(my hairdresser will be pleased!!!)
Who said Australian men were not romantic?
Of course I love ya darlin
You're a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word
So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin' there to grab !
So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there
No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best
I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think its very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs
I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get
No matter what u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the footy's on
And fetch another beer.
Am feeling slightly better as long as I (1) Don't lift or do anything with my right arm and (2) take some regular pain meds. I came back to work yesterday (Monday) and survived the day and any fears I had about having the time off were eased by my co-workers concern (as I was told I looked like shit - nice. lol)
I ventured on the scales this morning - ugh! I weighed in at 122.2 kg which is a gain of 4.2kg or 9.24lbs - egad!! To be totally honest while not happy with the results, I have bigger fish to fry at the moment. I have though realised medicating myself with food is not the answer to my problems and if anything will only exacerbate them, so I'm keeping a check on my eating for the time being.
Thanks to all for you words of support and encouragement, it means a lot.
I've been laid up at home the last couple of days with Costocondritis, it's where the cartilage which hold your ribs together becomes inflamed. It has been debilitating, with the slightest movement causing me severe stabbing like pain. It's a part of the auto immune disease I have had since I was a child. I think the "Lupus" diagnosis is not to far away now, something I have dreaded for the past 30 or so years but have always known it would come to. All of my health issues over the last 30 years all stem around this, my joints(arthritis), my colon(colitis), my eyes(Uveitis), notice the pattern, everything ends with a "itis" meaning inflammation. I must face the fact that I'm in a serious flareup at the moment. It's something I don't always like to talk about as I feel people get sick of hearing about it. I have had so much time off work in the past year, it embarrasses me, but I can't do much about it.
Because things are flaring up I had to go and see my Doctor who has been treating me now for the past 20 years. He is now a Professor, it seems when you come a Professor, your fees go up from $160 to $360 a consultation with our health insurance only paying the standard fee as a refund. His advice was to give the "big guns" as go - the immunosuppressants, the anti rejection drugs they give to transplant patients. Now, I have a severe new drug phobia, I hate taking tablets to start with, but anything new I panic about. Well to cut a long story short after being on them for 1 month, the good news was all the inflammatory indicators were lowered, the bad news was I got an allergic reaction to them and had to stop them. So we are back to square one again.
So. why am I telling you all this,"F*CKED IF I KNOW!
I suppose I want you all to have an understanding of the reasons behind my depression and why I suck (at the moment) on the diet front and at life in general. You see I hate being like this, I can remember a time when I wasn't like this. I was the girl everyone wanted around because she made them laugh and be happy, I was the life of the party. I was the girl who could do anything when she put her mind to it, I could of sold ice to the Eskimos. All this was going round and round in my head today as I was having a body scan. I have never felt so pathetic, a 120kg lump laying on a bed not even wide enough for 40kg anorexic, not even wide enough for one of my butt cheeks and having to be assisted by two people to sit up at the end of it.
You would think it would be motivating, but it wasn't, it has only emphasised how hopeless I feel and how overwhelming things seems at the moment. I'll probably regret posting this tomorrow, so best I end and post now before I chicken out.
Had a busy weekend. We all went to the races again on Saturday. My uncle had two of his horses running - "Leo" and "Power". Leo was expected to win while Power wasn't.The great news is both horses won giving my uncle his first winning double on the same day (as a trainer), it was so exciting when Power got up, my Aunt and I were screaming everyone out in the stands, so much so my daughter walked away in embarrassment. lol.
The bad news was he was 30-1 and I only had $5.00 on him. oh well ,Que sera sera still $150 for a $5 outlay is good.
As I mentioned before I am eating gluten free due to a Dr's recommendation, trouble is I'm eating everything gluten free. I stocked up at the supermarket and am sampling everything. will have to put a stop to that. I've gained for sure I can tell. I'll have to sit down and work out a plan around things. I now have to be a label addict, not only for the calories but to see if it contains gluten. Oie Vey!!
